Baby Don't You Go Break My Heart Slow
by BaileyMasen
Summary: All Human, Bella caught Edward cheating on her with Tanya and breaks up with him but Edward just can't seem to move on. EPOV and BPOV.
1. Nothing

**Hey guys so here is the first re-edited chapter!  
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**_Summary: All Human, Bella caught Edward cheating on her with Tanya and breaks up with him but Edward just can't seem to move on._**

**Nothing****  
****EPOV**

I checked my phone for the twelfth time in an hour.  
_No New Messages._  
Again.  
I rubbed my hands over my face, feeling the stubble on my chin and taking notice of the bags appearing under my eyes while rubbing my ring finger on my left hand, so close. Who knew a girl could break me this easy?  
Who knew a hand could feel so empty?

A week after we broke up, if you could call it that, I had called her, been round to her house, left countless voicemails, wrote letters, asked her brother about her, been to her workplace. Heck I even sent her inboxes on Facebook but all my attempts were futile. She was impossible. All week I had been wallowing in self-pity, anything that reminded me of her would trigger me to storm back to my apartment to be alone so after the first couple of days I stopped even trying to get up and go out.

'Come on, Edward. Stop beating yourself up about it. You're EDWARD CULLEN, the guy all the girls fall for. So go clean up and get dressed, we're hitting the town tonight, my friend, and you WILL get lucky.' Jasper jumped up off the couch, he had stayed with me the past couple of nights, to make sure I didn't do anything stupid. Although he was good company, it didn't help he was engaged to my sister, who also happened to be Bella's best friend.

'Come on, you will forget about her!' He pulled off my duvet and picked up his phone. I guessed he was calling Emmett for reinforcement, but he wouldn't help, he was her brother, they looked way too alike as well.  
'Emmett will be here in an hour, if you are not ready by then, that's it, we can't help you at all and no one will want you. Maybe if Bella see's you trying to get out she'll talk to you, at least be friends.' At the mention of Bella I muttered that I wouldn't get lucky tonight and that I didn't want to but I went to take a shower and shave anyway, hoping she too was out tonight.

'Edward, you ready mate?' Emmett popped his head round the corner of my room, they looked alike in many ways was all I could think, the chocolate eyes and the brown curls.  
I nodded my head. I looked up at Emmett and forced a smile, it didn't feel right but I tried anyway.

I pulled on my leather jacket she had tossed at me when she kicked me out of her house last Saturday, it smelt of her and I didn't want to wear it too much to take off her beautiful scent but tonight it would be a comfort.  
'I'm ready.' I muttered, dragging my feet as Emmett and Jasper flanked my right and left.

We started at our local bar.  
'Hey Edward!' I got called over by Mike, Tyler and Eric, I gave them a small nod in acknowledgement, hoping my failure of a smile was tricking them more than it did Emmett and Jasper and found a seat in the back of the place, where it was nice and dark.  
'Hey, Edward, What do you want to drink?' Emmett boomed, walking over to the counter.  
'Beer? Budweiser?' Jasper asked me. I didn't realise I was staring at the door until he shook me physically.  
'Wait a minute Jasper.' I got up and shifted through the small clusters of people, to get nearer to the entrance, and I was almost definite that I saw the soft, shiny mahogany locks.  
'Edward?' I heard Jasper call but I ignored him as I came out the entrance. I looked around the now misty street, I was definitely sure it was her.  
I reluctantly turned back to enter the bar.  
'Coke please.' I answered Emmett, who gave me a funny look and Jasper looked concerned.  
' I needed air.' I answered the unspoken question, they both nodded their heads.

We had been in the bar for near enough an hour and a half; I had turned on to stronger liquor, Whiskey, double and triple shots. Throughout the evening, as I became even more drunk and more out of it I kept seeing her, her chocolate eyes, her hair, the perfect shade of blue that she wore, her voice, her blushing cheeks, her full lips, even her smell. Everything reminded me of her and the more drinks I had, the more her presence would not leave, and I knew I would not forget her any time soon.

'Come on lets hit another club eh?' Emmett stood and helped me out of the door, Jasper behind. As soon as we hit the street, I saw her, I knew it.  
'BELLA!' I shouted. 'BELLA, PLEASE I DIDN'T MEAN IT AND I'M SORRY. BELLA!'  
Emmett looked alarmed at Jasper and then back at me.  
'Please Edward, shush. No one is there.' I fought against him trying to run to her.  
'Edward, come on, calm down now.' Jasper put a hand on my shoulder, pulling me back and I let my body sag, knowing it was no use to fight against them.  
'Emmett, please let me go see her. I could talk to her and she will listen.' I slurred my words a bit but it all made perfect sense to me. 'I could ask her to take me back. I could apologise. I could – I could – try.' I stumbled and tipped a little over my own feet. I stopped and slumped down the brick wall.  
Emmett took his phone out of his pocket and gave it to me.  
' Give her a call. She might pick up if she knows it's me.' I searched through his phone  
B...B...Be...Bella! I clicked the call button..  
'Pick up, pick up, Please pick up!' I muttered, holding the phone to my ear.  
Then I heard her lovely voice flow through the phone.

'Hey It's Bella, leave a message.' My heart cracked a little, as I left the message.  
'Bella, I know I am the last person you would want to hear from right now, I get it but please, please talk to me, contact me in any way, I can't. I can't do this. I'm in love with you Bella. I always will be. It's always been YOU and only ever will be YOU. I am so sorry.' I clicked end call and passed the phone back to Emmett.

'She'll be in right?' I asked Emmett, Bella wasn't one to go out on Saturday nights, much preferring to cuddle up to a movie or a good book and a hot chocolate on her sofa.  
'What? Edward that's not a good idea.' Emmett warned as I started to get up, Bella only lived a block away, but I could run that, drunk or not.  
'No, she won't see me any other way.' I started what I thought was a light jog to get to Bella's, hoping she'd still be awake it was only 10pm.

My head and my feet weren't communicating properly so ended up stumbling past the park fences and as I got closer to her door, every step I take I hoped she'd open up and listen to me, take me back, I thought, when she sees how much this is killing me and how guilty I feel, she'll have to.  
'Bella!' I called. 'Bella, it's me, please open up!' Emmett and Jasper shushed me, telling me it's late and I should be quiet and maybe I should come back tomorrow.  
'No I have to see her.' I knocked on her door, full force, three times.  
'Please Bella.' I could see her bedroom light on, even if the world was a little spinning now.  
I saw Alice and Rosalie peek out the curtains, shrugging and sending me saddened looks as I gazed up at the window.  
'Please.' I began to sob as I sat on her step, outside her door.  
I fumbled getting my phone out my pocket, knowing she wouldn't pick up but hoping for something else.  
It rang off. She had switched her phone off. She knew I what I was going to do.

My heart dropped in my chest as sobs racked my body.  
Jasper and Emmett dropped by the side of me.  
'Look I know breaking up is hard.' Jasper sighed.  
'No, you don't Jazz. You have got Alice and Emmett's got Rosalie.' I moaned, pulling my jacket round me tighter. My hands were shaking, my head was spinning, I could hardly breathe and I probably looked a mess.  
I tried a last time to knock on the door hopelessly, gaining no attention. Nothing.  
'I love you.' I whispered as Emmett and Jazz helped me to my feet.  
'I love you.'


	2. Your Not Sorry

**You're Not Sorry**

**BPOV**

**H**e broke my heart a week ago.  
A week it had taken to break up over 6 months of trust and a lifetime of friendship.

'_Finally to finish work early is so good.' I thought to myself, throwing my bag into the truck and climbing in to start the roaring engine, as much as I loved working at the coffee/bookshop, with my manager leaving to have her second child, I was practically running the place.__  
__I let the heater heat my truck up and decided to text Alice._

**_Hey Ali, I'm off work early_**.  
**_Want to do something for lunch?_**_**  
**_**_x B x_**

_I waited for the truck to heat up a bit before I began to drive to my apartment, which was only a twenty minute drive away from the store in Seattle._

_I was going to text Edward as soon as I pulled into the drive but decided against it, he would still be at work and I didn't want to disturb him since he's just got the new job at the law firm.__  
__I dragged my bag out beside me and shut my door, locking it behind me.__  
__I had already fished out my keys, eager to just be home already and unlocked the back door, into the kitchen, shrugged my coat off and dropped it on the table, along with my bag.__  
__I thought it was weird that Alice hadn't text me back by now.__  
__I checked my phone._**_No New Messages._**___I decided on ringing her instead, she can't be that busy._

_'Hello.' Alice answered.__  
__'Hey Alice, didn't you get my text?'__  
__'Oh sorry Bella, I haven't checked my phone today, the shop was really busy up until now. I was wondering do you want lunch?' I laughed Alice always knew why I called.__  
__'Yes, Costa in about twenty minutes?' Alice agreed and I raced upstairs to change and tidy myself up._

_After meeting Alice, we decided on going on a bit of a retail therapy, after much persuasion on her part but I did need some new clothes and have my eye on some things._

_As we were passing the main square, a sight caught my eye and at first I thought I was imagining it, until I double-checked, it broke my heart._

_In the restaurant of our very first date, sat right by the window, were Edward and his new assistant Tanya. At first I told myself that it was just lunch plans, talking about a meeting they probably had this morning but when he reached over his hand to cup her cheek and pull her towards him… I couldn't even look anymore.  
My heart broke; there was really no use in telling myself that could be explained.  
I left Alice and turned the other way, tears rolling down my cheeks as I practically ran back to my car.  
_  
I can't really remember the drive home but as soon as I got in, I stormed through my apartment, taking everything of his and putting it at a bag, by the front door. After I confronted him that night, I haven't tried speaking to him since, even Alice, his own sister hasn't heard from him for a week because she can't stand to talk to him. Emmett explained that he couldn't ignore him; they've been best friends for years and after telling him I understood, I couldn't ruin his friendship just because our relationship was over and the same for Jasper.

All week he had been calling me, texting me, left countless voicemails, wrote letters, asked my brother about me, been to my workplace. He even sent me emails on Facebook. It took all my strength to not answer, I couldn't and Alice and Rosalie wouldn't let me either, because we all know I would take him back without even asking him why he did it, without a blink of an eye I'd let him back in and it could happen all over again. Even the night of the 'confrontation' I couldn't bring myself to shout at him, it killed me to even kick him out.  
_  
_'Bella?' Alice knocked on my bedroom door.  
'Bella?' I rolled over out of my bed, I had been hiding in, she gasped taking in my matted hair and tear stained face and the same pyjamas I had on the past 4 nights.  
'I will kill him.' She growled through her teeth.  
'Alice.' I whined, I didn't want to cause tension between her and Edward, they were family. I could never do that but Alice refused to talk to him.  
'No Bella. This is wrong. You shouldn't be like this.' She came and stroked my hair down.  
'Go jump in the shower. Rose is coming over and we're going to have a fun day. Just us girls.' I moaned again but stretched out my aching bones, trudged to the bathroom to get a nice hot shower.

After the shower, I did feel somewhat better and I even let Alice and Rosalie do my hair and makeup. As we were in the bathroom, I could hear my phone buzz in the other room, when I went to check it out;

**Missed Calls: Emmett, Edward x (3)****  
****Voicemail (1)**

I dialled my voicemail number and it told me one new message. I hesitated; did I really want to hear what he had to say this time?  
'Bella I am the last person you would want to hear from right now, I get it but please, please talk to me, contact me anyway, I can't. I can't do this. I'm in love with you Bella. I always will be. It's always been YOU and only ever will be YOU. I love you with my whole heart. I am so sorry.' Tears made their way down my cheeks, yet again.

'Bella, put it down.' Rosalie demanded and I hit the end call button, I hadn't even heard her come into the room.  
'Rose...' My sobs had started to tighten my throat and I found it hard to breathe then I heard him again.

'BELLA!' he yelled. 'BELLA, IT'S ME!' I could feel my heart been pulled to go downstairs and let him in and hug him, tell him it's alright and I forgive him, but the trust had been broken and I didn't know whether he would do it again.  
I took several calming breaths and turned to Alice and Rosalie.  
'My idiot of a brother will be done for I swear wait until I get my hands on him I will –' then Alice's voice floated into the background because all I heard was pounding on the door below.

On the third set of bangs I couldn't take it, I headed for the door.  
I stood debating what to do. Open it and forgive him, take him back, or leave it and leave him for good?  
I sat in front of my door, my head resting against the wood.

'Please.' He pleaded. I could hear how broken he was, neither of us wanted to let this go, he must really have felt bad about it. Maybe I had misunderstood the situation.  
I heard him talking with Jazz and Emmett, then a faint 'I love you.' Then silence.  
'But you're not actually sorry.' I whispered back.

At least he wasn't on his own tonight.  
I waited until I couldn't hear them anymore and then pulled the door open. I sat on the step outside, my head in my hands, shaking from the sobs building up.

'Bella are you okay?' a soft, friendly voice came from next door.  
'Bella?' He came and gently lifted my head up from my knees.  
'Pretty girls shouldn't cry.' He whispered and rubbed my back soothingly, calming down my sobs.

'Thank you Brandon.' I mumbled and once I had calmed down and being invited over whenever I wanted, Brandon helped me up and I shuffled my way back up the stairs to Alice and Rosalie.


	3. This Should Be Fun

**Hey Guys, I want to say an absolutely MASSIVE THANKYOU because this story has got the biggest number of hits then any of my other stories yet!  
Your all amazing and I'm glad you continue to follow my story.  
I'm trying to update every other day so far I've done that WOOO!  
I'm still on a SEARCH FOR A BETA so if you or anyone you know can, please contact me !  
ON WITH THE 3****rd**** CHAPTER – ALREADY!**  
**P.S if you haven't already noticed the chapters alternate the POV'S, well kinda **

**Miss Bella Cullen18  
x x x x x x x x**

**This Should Be Fun**

**EPOV **

I was back to lying in my bed as soon as I came home from work.  
I had avoided Emmett and Jasper since last Saturday, it wasn't fair on them I was stopping Em from seeing his sister and Jazz from seeing his girlfriend. They shouldn't have been friends with me anyway after what I did to her, I don't even want to know me anymore.

Nearly two weeks, it's been nearly two weeks since I've talked to her, since I've held her tiny hand in mine and soothed her, kissed her, been able to tell her how beautiful she was. Two weeks.

I can honestly say it's ruined me, me of all people. I used to be the strong one, the one that had never cried over a girl before, the one that had always had Bella even as best friends since we were months old then when we entered a relationship together at 19. Who'd of known this is how it would have ended?

My phone rang loudly, throwing me out of my thoughts;

_'And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave_

_Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I have made_

_And like a baby boy I never was a man_

_Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand_

_And then I fell down yelling "Make it go away!"_

_Just make her smile come back and shine just like it used to be_

_And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"'_

'Hello?' I answered in a mono-tone voice.

'Edward? Edward, Honey? Are you okay?' My mom, Esme answered.

'I'm surviving. Barely.' I muttered back.

'What's up with you and Alice, she told me she hasn't been talking to you? What's wrong son?' I haven't exactly told my mom about what's happened mainly because I am ashamed by what I did and we hadn't really seen her to tell her anything.

'We had a fight.' Simply answer, needing no explanation.

'Well I hope that won't affect the dinner.' My mind ticked and I remembered the date, every other Saturday lunch of every month for a catch up, everyone invited. That meant facing Alice, Rosalie, Emmett,  
Jasper and Bella.

'Ehm Mom, I just don't think that's it's a good idea right now, not today. Just because I have some things to work out for work.' I heard her heart break like I was standing next to her, I've never not come before.

'Are you sure?' She asked, I heard the sobs build up.

'I'm Sorry Mom it's just, I've got a lot on this week.' _Yeah like crying and crying and moping about because I'm a total Twat who broke up the most amazing relationship he's ever been in._ I added silently.

'Okay so see you next time then?'

'Promise. Love you. ' I heard her mumble a quiet 'love you' back and hang the phone up.

Not yet about 10 minutes had passed when I received another call.  
ALICE!

'Alice!' I was happy she called.

'Edward, why did Mom just call me crying asking me if I can go to the dinner and telling me you can't go?' I could tell she was calming her self down, either her or Jasper because I could tell she was talking through gritted teeth.

'Because I told her I can't go.' I admitted.

'Well phone her back and say your sorry and you've put 'work' on hold for now!'

'I can't Alice.' I hung my head and went to stand by the window of my Seattle apartment, over looking the busy streets below.

'BOTH YOU AND I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE WORK EDWARD! FOR GODS SAKE YOUR JUST A COWARD, I KNOW EXCATLY WHY YOU DON'T WANT TO GO, BECAUSE BELLA WILL BE THERE. WELL EDWARD I HAVE SOME NEWS FOR YOU. MAN UP.' She yelled at me. Alice yelled at me, through a phone.

'Alice you know I can't. It will break Esme's heart.' I held back my own sob, I couldn't do that to my own mother.

'TOUGH. CALL HER AND APOLOGISE.' With that she hung up, so I guessed my plans had changed for the day and went to climb into the shower.

**BPOV**

After I had shuffled back upstairs to Alice and Rosalie, I had sobbed into them both like there was no tomorrow.

'I'm killing him Alice, I'm hurting him.' I whispered after we all got into my big King Size bed and I had stopped crying, I had cried for god knows how long and the sun was coming up. But I was glad I cried because now I couldn't feel anything, nothing at all. Nubness is good.

'But remember what he did to you first Bella. He's hurting himself. He hurt you.' Alice and Rosalie both said together.

'I know but I have to forgive him, I can't not. I love him. I've always loved him.' I answered, then proceeded to close my eyes and drift off the wake with a knock at my door at about 3pm.

'Bella, some one is at the door.' Rose moaned and tapped me, sleepily. I rolled out the bed and stood up, grabbing my dressing gown and trudging down the stairs to open the door to my next door neighbour Jake and another tanned guy.

'Hello?' I asked, pulling my dressing gown tighter around me.

'Hey Bella, I just wanted to see how you were after last night.' Aw bless him, well he cares at least.

'I'm surviving.' I answered, nodding my head, which hurt because of a migraine coming on.

'That's good, you shouldn't cry over him.' Jake and me used to be friends at school so he knew about me and Edward from the start till the end. 

'I'm getting told.' I forced a smile and for once looked at the other guy with Jake, who obviously saw me looking because he flashed me a smile.

'Oh, Bella this is Brandon, my new roommate and cousin.' We shook hands and I couldn't help but think he was good looking, with his sparkling blue eyes and dark brown hair with a wash board body you could see underneath his tight t-shirt 'BAD BELLA' I mentally slapped myself for thinking that.  
'Hey Brandon, I'm Bella.' I smiled.  
'Hey Bella, if your not doing much then maybe you could come over and just hang with us tonight, just like old times?' Jake asked, shooting me a smile.

I nodded and we arranged a time to go round for.

'Just like old times.'

The next Saturday after going round to Jake and Brandon's every day that week just for chilling time I got a phone call from Esme.

'Hey Bella, are you going to come to the dinner today?' I checked the date on my phone.

'Hmm.' I wasn't sure what I should do, we haven't exactly told Edward's or my parent's what happened yet but I knew it would hurt Esme if I didn't go.

'Sure I will.' I answered, trying to make my voice sound excited.

This should be fun.


	4. The Flood

**Hey I'm so Sorry I havent updated in friggin ages but I have an excuse and It's really good - I've started my exams so updates will be less frequent, sorry but heres the next chapter anyway! Btw I love your reveiws they make me smile :D ! P.S Song for this chapter THE FLOOD - Cheryl Cole! It's an amazingly long chapter so read on... and then review! **

**Miss Bella Cullen18 xxxxx**

**The Flood**

**BPOV**

'So I'll come pick you up as soon as you text or call me, okay.' Brandon said as I climbed out of his car, we had become best of friends during the past week and I felt I could trust him with my life already. 'Bella are you sure you want to do this?' He asked, reading my eyes. I just nodded, forced a smile and waved as I shut the door and watched him drive off.

I turned round to face the huge Cullen mansion. Giving myself a little pep talk as I walked up to the front door. 'Come on Bella get a grip, you've done this loads of times. Your a great actress, act like everything is normal and it will go absoulutly fine.' I went to ring the bell as I heard a certain silver car pull into the driveway, guessing he got a new one after what I did to his old one. 'Bella come on, you can do this. Don't talk to him, they'll just think you've fallen out over something. They won't suspect a thing.' I tried again, forcing a smile on my face and pressing the bell down.

The door flung open to Esme standing there smiling at me and now Edward who had made his way to my side by now, I could feel the tingles that drew us together but pushed it away. 'He cheated on you Bella.' I just stood there smiling.  
'Oh I've missed you two so much!' Esme flung her arms round us both and pulled us into an embrace.  
'Missed you too.' I mummbled and my heart broke for the second time, the smile on her face wil be gone once she realises were over, for good.  
'Missed you Mom.' I heard Edward whisper into her ear, my knees almost bucking out underneath me hearing his voice for the first time in nearly a month.

Then she had to leave us to go check the dinner in the kitchen, to say it was akward would be an understatement.  
I had to keep my eyes trained to the floor, not to make eye contact him until this was all over, not to give him the satasfaction.

'Bella...' Edward started.  
'I don't want to hear about it.' I said, shaking my head and keep my eyes on the floor.  
'I just wanted to -' 'I said I don't want to hear about it, Edward.' I snapped at him, facing the window to see Alice and Jasper's car come rolling into the driveway and parked next to his new shiny volvo.  
'Alice is here.' I commented and went to open the door for her.

'ALICE!' I hugged her tight and I could almost feel her glare at Edward burn through the back of my shoulder.  
'Are you okay?' She asked, looking in my eyes.  
I nodded, eyes trained on the floor.  
'Bella the floor isn't that interesting lovey.' Alice whispered in my ear, giving my shoulder a squeeze. 'I'm here for you.' She stated and passed my on to Jasper.

'Haven't seen you around here in ages, Swan' I gave a small smile and a shrug.  
'I'm here now.'

'Hey Bella is Emmett and Rosalie comming today?' Esme asked from the kitchen.  
'I called him earlier and he said he wouldn't miss it for the world.' I pulled out my phone to check a text message. 'On my way.' Emmie Bear xx I smiled a little at that.

'Kids?' Carlisle asked wandering down the stairs. 'Hey Daddy!' Alice bounded up to him to give him a hug.  
'Hey Dad.' Edward nodded curtly towards him, sending my knees shaking once more.  
Then both me and Jasper said our hello's as he dissapered into his office to make a few calls to the hospital he worked at.

'I'm going to see if Esme needs any help in the kitchen.' I muttered and sloped off to the kitchen. I just needed an excuse to leave before I flung myself at Edward and forgave him for everything.

But the gods were against me today because Esme quietly thanked me and explained she didn't need any help but if I would kindly watch the potatoes while she went to get changed. I nodded, atleast it was something to do.

'Edward. You screwed up this time mate.' I heard Jasper say from the lounge.  
'I know I did.' I heard Edward mummble.  
'It was your fault.' Alice spat.  
'I know.' Edward replied and I wanted to just go out to him and tell him it's okay and promise to never do it again and I'll trust him all over agian but then my little Alice in my head said 'Once a cheat, always a cheat.' I kept repeating this as Emmett and Rosalie arrived and when I went to set the table, then when I went to help serve the food.

'Bella dear, is something wrong?' Trust Esme to notice, my smile must of slipped. I lightly shook my head. ' No, nothing.' I muttered back.  
'You seem quite today and haven't talked to Edward much. Is something up?' She studied my eyes as I replied.  
'No I've just got alot on my mind.' and the smile was back on my face.  
'Okay honey. Just wondered.' and I knew she wouldn't pry but I also knew I hadn't fooled her.

Everyone had seating places round the massive 8 seater table.  
The couples would sit opposite each other, with Esme and Carlise at the top at one end then Me and Edward, Alice and Jasper then Rosalie and Emmett,  
girls one side, boys the other. As we got seated, I got shot a couple of sympathy glances. I just smiled at them and kept my eyes anywhere but infront of me.

Everything was going well until conversation started.

'So Alice, Edward. Would you care to explain why you two are not getting along to you mother and I?' Carlisle asked.  
I shot Alice a 'Don't-say-athing' look and pleaded with my eyes not to.  
'My brother is (Sorry for my language) a twat.' She replied and he just hung his head.  
'Edward?' Esme asked, concern dripped in her voice.  
'Alice, it had nothing to do with you.' He shot back.  
'It had everything to do with me, I was there, Edward.' I could feel myself sink into my seat, further and further, slowly and could almost feel Esme and Carlise's confusion.  
'Alice.' Edward warned in his tone of voice.  
I shot Alice another 'Shut-it' look.  
'Bella.' Alice whined at me.  
I shook my head as everyones head turned to me. Head down and started to nibble on some chicken.  
'Alice, she ovbiously doesn't want to talk about it. Drop it.' Edward warned again.

The table's atmosphere grew tense and I pulled my head up to see everyone else's head dropped to their plates except Edward's, who was staring directly at me. I saw his green eyes and they pierced mine, failing to drag mine away from him I just sat there, staring right back,noticing they were a little darker and had bags under them. That was until Alice kicked me lightly under the table and my head dropped once more, a tear rolling it's way down my cheek.

'Bella are you okay, dear?' Esme asked. I froze as I felt everyone's gaze turn to me and I blushed. I just nodded my head and carried on.  
'Bella, Honey I can tell when something's wrong.' Esme was about to get up to come to me but Edward replied.  
'She's fine mum, tough few weeks that's all.' and he reached out the put his hand on mine, the one who had his ring on it up until three weeks ago. Another tear made it's way down, Then Another, and Another. All the while the tingling, the electric pulses that shot through my hand.

'May I be excused a minute please?' I asked, keeping my head down and pulling away my hand.

Esme looked down at our hands, realising the rings were missing.

'Erm, sure honey.' She shot a concerned look at Edward as I shuffled my way to the upstairs bathroom, head down all the way.

I heard Edward excuse him self also and follow my steps up the stairs. I panicked, I cannot be alone with him. I can't. I won't.

I turned into the bathroom and locked the door behind me, letting the tears fall as I slumped against the door.

I heard a soft knocking from the other side.

'Bella?' Edward whispered. I didn't answer. 'Bella are you okay?' I sniffled a little and tried to clear my throat of the lump that was stopping me from answering.  
'Bella, please don't cry.' He soothed and I heard him sit at the other side of the door.  
I muffled a sob at how hurt he sounded.  
' We can talk about this.' I muffled another and shook my head.  
'No.' I choked out. 'Bella, please. Please don't cry. I'm not worth it.' I could hear the hurt. 'Once a cheat, always a cheat.' the little Alice in my head reminded me.  
'No.' I choked on yet another sob and they were building.

I heard some muffled voices from the opposite side of the door. It was soft arguing and I recognised Alice's voice.  
'Bella, it's me, Alice. Please unlock the door. We can go into my room.' I didn't trust her at first but I had already ruined dinner. I leant up to unlock the door and Alice rushed in, pulling me into her arms. 'Bella, what are we going to do with you?' she mused softly into my shoulder. I didn't answer or it was more like I couldn't.  
Edward was still in the place he must of been before but he had red rimmed eyes,where he must of been crying and dark bags under them.

'I'm so sorry.' I choked out in a sob, looking directly to him.  
He just shook his head and stood up, straightening out his clothes.  
'Erm, I'll be in the spare room.' he sniffed and slugged off into the second bedroom to the right.

'It's so hard to love him.' I cried harder into Alice's shoulder.  
'I know, I know, shush.' She soothingly stroked my back and rocked me back and forth in her lap.

I saw both Jasper and Emmett come towards the bathroom and as Emmett leaned down to me I pulled him into a hug.  
'Go to him, he needs you more than me.' I rasped in his ear.  
He look puzzled and I looked from him and Jasper to the room Edward was in.  
'Go.' I repeated, letting go of him and back into Alice and now Rosalie.  
I nodded for Jazz to follow him and they both did as I said.

'Your his sister Alice.' I stated as we got into her room. The first to the right.  
'Your my sister. You need me.' She stated and dropped to her beanbag.  
'So does he.' I looked to the next wall.  
She huffed and rolled her eyes at me.

'Alice has made the decision to stay by you Bella' Rosalie clarified.  
'I don't want teams.' I moaned.  
'It has to be like this.' She sighed and shot me a look of sympathy.

I heard the boys come out from the spare room, then there was a light knocking on our door. I froze.  
'Who is it?' Rose called.  
'Emmett.' I nodded at Rose.  
'Come in.' She called.  
The door handle turned and Emmett popped his head round the door.  
'You okay?' He looked at me and furrowed his brows.  
'I look that bad huh?' I asked, my voice cracking and sore. He shook his head but gave a little chuckle.

'I should go apologise to Carlisle and Esme, I was rude earlier.' I stood up and smoothed my clothes down, I probably looked like a wreck but I couldn't fix it.  
'Maybe you shouldn't.' Emmett started.  
'No Emmett, it was wrong of me to walk out.' I started down the stairs and stopped upon hearing voices.

'What?' came Esme's voice.  
'Mom, I can explain.' Edward clarified.  
'How can you explain. What? But It's been fine. How is the engangment off?' She sounded confused and upset I looked at Emmett and headed back down the stairs.  
'I can explain.' I muttered and Edward, Carlisle and Esme all turned to me.  
Esme gasp upon seeing me and I winced a little on seeing Edward, his eyes redder and more bloodshot, his hair a mess from where he had been almost pulling it out.  
'It's me.' I muttered, staring at Edward. 'I called it off.' Esme gasp again and looked a little hurt.  
'Why would you, I don't get it.' She mummbled. 'Well- Because -.' Edward lowered his head.  
'I cheated on her.' there was a deadly silence until Esme shot her head up.  
'YOU WHAT? YOU WHAT? I NEVER BROUGHT YOU UP LIKE THIS EDWARD! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!' She all but screamed at him, Carlisle had to restrain her from physically leaping at him.  
'I'm sorry Mom.' he mummbled and a tear came down his cheek. I could almost see the family rip in two.  
I did this. I caused this.

'YOUR SORRY! SORRY! SORRY IS NOT ENOUGH! SORRY EDWARD! SORRY IS JUST A WORD!' She screamed again. 'HOW LONG?' I wanted to know the answer to that also. Edward looked between me and his parents and dropped his head. 'A month.' he muttered.  
I had to restrain myself then.  
'A Month Edward, a month!' I shouted.  
'Bella, I told you-' I cut him off.  
'You've said your sorry so many times Edward. But a month. I thought everything was fine.' Then it clicked. I had been on a business conference with work for a week. 'When I went away on business to England?' I glared at him. He just nodded.  
'I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!' I screamed and Emmett, Jazz, Rosalie and Alice all came rushing down the stairs. 'I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU. YOU MANWORE I WAS AWAY A WEEK! A FUCKING WEEK EDWARD! WHAT DID YOU DO, PAY HER?' Emmett came to restrain me. 'I'm sorry.' he muttered quietly I just glared at him.  
'TO THINK I ACTUALLY FELT GUILTY FOR BREAKING IT OFF WITH YOU. TO THINK NOT ONLY AN HOUR AGO I WANTED TO BE BACK WITH YOU!' I thrashed in Emmetts arms.  
'I can't take it back.' Edward moaned and rubbed his hands over his tired face.  
Emmett relaxed his arms around me as I relaxed but I flung myself at Edward.  
'I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!' I pounded my fists against his chest as hard as I could until Emmett dragged me away.  
'I hate you.' I spat at him. Sagging into Emmett's arms.  
'Bella please. Let me explain. But somewhere private, not here.' He came towards me.  
'DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME!' I hissed and he looked hurt for a second then an emotionless mask came upon his face.  
'Bella, let me explain please.' he backed off a bit and I nodded.  
'Are you sure.' Emmett whispered to me. I nodded again and Emmett let go of me slowly. He nodded for everyone to leave the room. ' We won't be far away.' He warned and left after everyone else.

It was silent for the first five minutes, I was to raging to say anything and he just held his head there.

'Are you going to explain or what?' I spat, getting impatient.  
'Bella. I didn't mean to.' I laughed when he said that.  
'Oh Edward, so you just fell into bed with her. Right.' I laughed humorlessly.  
'It wasn't like that.' He looked me in the eyes.  
'Liar.' I commented.  
'Look you left me for a week and I got lonely.' I full on snorted in his face then.  
'Lonely, after a week. Ha. While I was there thinking everything was fine and dandy. What about when I got back why did it continue?' 'I- I - Well- I sort of thought-' he stuttered.  
'Come on Edward Cullen, speechless? Wow Well that's new!' I snorted.  
' I thought I had fallen in love with her.' He clearly spoke.  
My heart stopped dead, not going to beat ever again I knew that.  
'It was a week Edward, a week and you were in love with her?' My mask slipped off when my heart stopped.  
He shuffled his feet slowly and found his shoes too pretty fucking interesting for my liking.  
'GOD DAMIT EDWARD!' I screeched. I pulled out my phone to send a quick text to Brandon to pick me up.

'I thought I was the one you loved? I thought I was in love with you?' I laughed humorlessly 'Guess I was wrong. Huh?' He still stared at the carpet and began to open his mouth.  
'If you say your sorry one more fucking time. I'm not been held responsible for my actions.' My fists became clenched and I tried to calm my breathing down.  
'I actually thought you loved me. I actually thought you of all people. EDWARD CULLEN loved me. Plain ISABELLA SWAN. Wow I'm fucked up.' I sighed with anger.  
He opened his mouth once more and a car beeped out sound, that was fast, but I thanked Brandon for speeding non - the less.  
I started to walk outside and he followed.

'Edward you know the funniest thing. The one that makes me laugh so hard. The fact that I was in love with you and the life I imagined we could of had together but now there's no chance and I feel a little fucking pathetic.' I turned on my heel and ran towards Brandon's car, traitor tears sliding down already.

'I really did fucking love you.' I whispered.


	5. Breathe

**okay, here's the thing! One I have been ill and had exams let alone Drama, dance, cheerleading, horseriding and gym so yeah alot on and two I did write this chapter last night, A full 9 pages but it decided to delete its self and carrupt soooo that means I have to write it all out again which I do not like doing yet it gives me a chance to change it so thats alright I suppose. Anyway your reviews make me SMILE :D p.s Song(s) for this chapter Breathe - Taylor Swift And quite alot of pov switching but I've marked it out clearly!**

MissBellaCullen18  
x x x x x x x x 

**Breathe**

**Epov**

I stood there as she ran to the car and peeled down the long driveway and dissapeared into the surrounding forest, not once looking back.  
I stood there for atleast an hour, I don't know why, I just did. Maybe I thought she would come back? But I knew deep inside she wouldn't. She couldn't.

'Edward.' I turned to face my Mom and I could see the hurt in her eyes.  
'I'm going to be getting home now.' I murmmered and pulled on my jacket to go to my car in.

Once on the freeway I had time to think and I didn't like it. Thinking always meant Bella. I knew then and there telling my parents, admitting it would change everything. But It was the right thing to do?

5 months later (Edward and Bella have been split up for 5 months and 3 weeks)

'Edward?' I rolled onto my side and saw the blonde mop of hair.  
'Yes?' she snuggled into the crook of my arms.  
'Do you have to leave for work?' I just hummed against her hair and kissed her lightly on the lips.  
'Yes, I do Tanya. But I'll be back later, remember dinner with my parents tonight at 7.' I left to get in the shower, leaving a mumbling Tanya complaining about how it's too early.

Me and Tanya had picked up our relationship 3 months after the dinner with my parents and the past 2 months have been quite lovely with her. At first no one liked her but after a month or so they suddenly stopped, I know they don't like her but they've learned to deal with it.

'Edward?' I looked up to see my boss, Tony standing over my computer screen as I stopped typing. 'Yes sir?' 'It's 6 o'clock your shift was up an hour ago.' I looked back at the clock on the screen.  
'Oh sorry, I've been doing some paperwork on a new courtcase.' I shrugged and began to clear my things away.  
'Your looking better these days Edward.' He said smiling and I smiled up at him too.  
'Thankyou Sir.' I replied, filing away the few last things and clicking save on the computer.  
'Call me Tony.' He nodded at my work. 'You know there's a chance someone could get a promotion next week, you'd be a great candidate.' I nodded with a wide smile, I would love to be higher up the ladder and maybe be able to actually afford law school this year by myself.  
'What day would the interveiws on?' He thought about it for a minute then replied; 'This day next week, 20th of September.' I stopped when he said that. "20th September would of been mine and Bella's year annerversairy, I remember the day because it was a week after her birthday and then it clicked. A week before was the 13th.  
'It's the 13th today, right?' Tony nodded his head and I checked my watch. 6:25pm . 'Thanks but I'm going to have to go. I'm late for a family dinner but I will consider your offer.' I nodded and said my goodbyes to him, climbing in the car and starting the drive to my parents.

Bella's 20th birthday. Today. Should I give her a call, just to say Happy Birthday? Should I text her? Should I leave it?

These were the questions floating around my head as I came out of the Seattle traffic and entered my parents driveway on the outskirts of Forks.

**Bpov**

'Bella!' Alice cried as she gave me a massive hug, I hadn't seen her in 2 months because I hadn't been able to get off work or I was with Brandon or Brandon and Jacob and mostly because I was taking her away from her brother but when Emmett suggested I go to see her because she had talked about missing me, I had to come. 'Happy Birthday.' She smiled and opened the door fully as she greeted Brandon the same way.  
'Come in, come in.' She ushered us into the lounge and looked between me and Brandon with wiggling brows but I just shook my head and laughed. 'So Alice, you and Jasper still not got a place yet?' Brandon asked, pulling me by the waist onto his lap on the sofa.  
'No, still looking and working, Mom and dad said they could pay but we want to do it ourselves.' She grinned and plopped down on the single seater next to us.  
'So Bella, Brandon. Since I haven't seen you two in quite some time can you please tell me what this is about.' Brandon squeezed my hand tightly and I settled my back against his chest, syncronizing our breathing.  
'Well Alice, me and Brandon are sort of... together.' I told her and her mouth dropped open then a wide grin stretched over her face.  
'How long?' I swallowed a bit and answered.  
'About a month.' her mouth dropped again.  
'And you didn't tell me, I'm hurt. Even Emmett didn't tell me anything.' She faked her heart hurting and looked away. 'Alice it wasn't official till last week and neither me nor Emmett have seen you to tell you.' 'Thats why such things as texts and calling exist.' she answered.  
'I've been busy.' I laughed.  
'I'd say.' I blushed and looked down at mine and Brandon's intertwining hands.

'Well Bella, Brandon, I'd like to invite over for our family dinner.' I looked at Brandon then back at Alice.  
'Are you sure?' She just nodded.  
'Yeah Bella, My parents have missed you around and it's your birthday, we can go out after. Me, Jazz, You, Brandon, Emmett and Rose.' I thought it over. It had been 5 months and I did miss everyone I haven't seen recently. I nodded and Alice hugged me hard.  
'YAY! I'm going to tell Mom, the dinner starts at 7.' I nodded again and explained that me and Brandon had the day off so we were going shopping in Seattle and would see her at 7.

'Bella, you came!' Esme exclaimed as me and Brandon walked in the door. 'I said I would, didn't I?' I laughed and hugged her and she then hugged Brandon. He looked surprised at first my ex's Mom hugging him had never crossed his mind but she claimed 'A friend of Bella's is always welcome here!' and that made him smile.

She showed us into the lounge to sit and wait for everyone, where I introduced Brandon to Carlisle and Jasper where they got into a medical and Historical debate. I laughed and went to sit on the single seater, just smiling at my surroundings.

'What are you smiling at?' Alice came up and sat on the arm of the chair.  
'How much everything has changed and genuinly how happy I am.' I smiled and pulled her to sit on the chair with me, so we were sharing.  
'I'm glad you are Bella. I was worried you wouldn't after the dinner months ago, but your strong and that's what I love about you.' She smiled and so did I, except it did hurt, still. Months ago when I left, I left part of my soul, my heart, here at this very house, that was one reason I didn't really come back because I didn't want to remember what had happened.

'I have something to announce at dinner anyway.' I grinned and she automatically put her hand on my stomach.  
'Oh My God, Bella I'm so happy for you!' I laughed at her and pushed her hand away.  
'Not that!' The truth was we hadn't tried because if we tried anything more than a simple and innocent make out session I would stop because I was scared, not if I wasn't good or it would hurt, because I was scared he would leave me after. 'Then what?' She wondered.  
I shook my head at her and rolled my eyes. 'I don't want to repeat it. So you'll find out just like everyone else.' I teased and stuck out my tounge at her.

'Bells?' Emmett called from the entrance.  
'EM!' I squeeled and ran to him to give him a hug.  
'Where you been, squirt?' He ruffled my hair but I only could smile at him, I hardly saw him anymore since him and Rosalie had opened up a club together and moved out.  
'Work!' I groaned. 'All work and no play.' Rose giggled and came up to hug me aswell.  
'Well I wouldn't say no play.' Brandon spoke as he hugged my waist and dropped a kiss on my neck while I just blushed.  
Him and Em got on great from the start and soon got into a conversation about work and the club.

'Well the wicked witch of the west is arriving.' announced Alice and Rose, I gave them a confused look and followed their gaze outside the window. A brand new silver porsche pulled up in the drive and out got a full blonde headed Tanya.  
'What is she doing here?' I asked. They looked at each other, back outside the window then to me again.  
'Tanya is sort of...' Alice started but stopped and looked at Rose.  
'Edward's girlfriend.' Rose finished. I knew it shouldn't have bothered me I had 'moved' on so he had the right too aswell it would make sense to be with her. She was everything I wasn't. Blonde, Intelligent, Pretty, Perfect. I stood there smiling but I knew they could see my mask slipping as I painfully tried to pin it down.  
'Cool.' I stated finally, watching her come through the front door of the living room. She stopped when she saw me but too my surprise then came over and hugged me.  
'No hard feelings?' She whispered as she pulled away. Too say I was shocked was an understatment but I didn't have the time to argue so I just nodded. I'd be out of this soon I kept reassuring myself. I nodded and Rose and Alice's mouths fell open I just mouthed a 'tell you later'.

We had all been seated, same as last time, except Brandon in Edward's place and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Edward hadn't yet turned up and I didn't know what to do or how he would take me been here.  
'Edward text me saying he'll be here in ten minutes.' Tanya informed everyone and all eyes came on mine, concern and worry etched across their faces, all except Tanya's. Brandon reached across the table and took my hand in his.  
'I'm going to the bathroom.' I whispered as I excused myself and quickly got to the downstairs bathroom, lookingin the mirror.  
'Come on Bella. You can do this, this is the last time you might ever come here. So after this you can finally move on, properley with Brandon.' I prepped myself and ran my fingers through my hair a couple times, the long locks falling on over my shoulders again. Should do. I exited the bathroom and went back to my seat. 'Are you okay?' Alice whispered in my ear on the right.  
I gave a little nod, not trusting myself to speak outloud. Brandon re-took my hand in his and squeezed it tightly for reassurance I gave him the biggest smile I could muster up and squeezed it back harder.

Conversation soon restarted and I ended up talking to Jasper about apartments in Seattle and where the good areas were. 'I'm So sorry I'm late, the traffic out there is manic.' I heard his voice first then saw him, even with tousled hair, his suit ruffled and his shirt hanging out he was well 'Godlike'. I squeezed Brandons hand harder than before and I could see I had hurt him a bit but he rubbed soothing circles into my palm to calm me down and it would of worked but he noticed me, he froze a little and blinked a bit.  
'I didn't know we would have company.' He stated and placed his bag down before removing his jacket and sitting down next to Emmett at the end of the table, all eyes discreetly looked between me and him then back again. 'How's your day been?' Tanya asked him as Esme passed him a plate.  
'Good, thankyou busy though, lots of paperwork and maybe a promotion in the works.' He smiled and caught my eye contact. 'Stop Bella' I scolded myself, breaking my gaze. 'Your with Brandon.' I repeated.

I looked up at Brandon. 'We should tell them.' I told them as we were in the kitchen, having offered to place out the food, having been the guests.  
'When?' He asked.  
'Soon, I'll kick you when it's time.' I told him while collecting some of the meat and a bowl of vegetables to take with me and placing them in the middle of the table.

'Happy Birthday Bella. By the way.' Edward said as I put some meat on my plate. I could almost hear Alice and Rose gasp that he talked to me.  
'Thankyou.' I replied and ate my food, avoiding eye contact with Edward and the feeling I should go to him and wrap my arms aroung him or slapping him. 'He's In love with Tanya.' I told myself although I could feel him watching me at times.

After half way through the meal Alice nudged me.  
'So Bella, what was that thing you wanted to tell everyone.' I almost choked on my food, not sure if I should yet, everyone by now had stopped eating and look at me.  
I looked at Brandon and he nodded. 'Now or Never I guess,' I Muttered.  
'Well, I got a Job promotion.' I answered and everyone's expressions relaxed a bit.  
'Wow Bella, that's great.' Everyone was congratulating me but I had to grimace.  
'Yeah but, well here's the thing.' I started. ' The job promotion is in New York.' I rushed. I heard forks drop to the plates and Alice turned to look at me.  
'New York, but that's over 2000 miles away.' Alice turned to me, tears in her eyes.  
'I know.' I mummbled.  
'So your just moving away ?' I was surprised to here it came from Edward.  
I nodded. 'October the 1st.'  
'Don't you think that's too soon.' He answered and I felt like I was going to cry but then I took one look at Tanya next to him. 'He loves her.' I reminded myself.  
'No, It's perfect I think.' I said, defending myself.  
'On your own?' Alice asked.  
I looked up at Brandon and he squeezed my hand.  
'Well I'm planning on going with her.' He answered.  
'Were going to move into together.' I stated and ducked my head. There was a deathly silence and only the clinking of cuterly could be heard.

'Well we think you deserve it.' Esme smiled at us and Carlisle nodded along. 'Thankyou.' I mummbled.  
'I do too.' Tanya supported and Rose, Em, Alice and Jazz, Hell even Edward looked at her with three heads.  
'You can't be serious?' Edward argued.  
'Well think about it, how often does she get the chance to go?' Tanya backed me up and I gave her a soft smile which she returned.  
'Alice?' I asked and she turned to me with a soft smile also.  
'We've got to make this the best month ever.' She grinned and so did Rose, eventually Emmett and Jasper did also. But Edward frowned still.

'Edward could I have a word with you please, in the kitchen?' I asked, Brandon squeezed my hand and I nodded back, I knew what I was doing but everyone else was catching flies.  
'Erm Okay.' He looked a bit shocked but we excused our selves and went to the kitchen.

As soon as the kitchen door shut I took a deep breath.  
'Edward, I'm gonna agree to be friends with you.' I sighed shakily.  
He looked up at me, his green eyes peircing mine. 'Why?' He whispered. 'After what I did.'  
'Edward remember what we were before all this started. Because I do and I remember my best friend, that's who I need right now. ' I spoke slowly.  
'Bella, are you serious?' I huffed a bit.  
'Of Course I'm been serious. Why Wouldn't I?'  
'I mean about moving to New York?' He stuttered,  
I nodded.  
'It's all sorted.' I muttered.  
'Bella.' He started.  
'Look I know we ended things on a bad note. But I don't want a relationship with you I want friendship.' I spoke.  
' I will make you change your mind, that's a promise.' He lowered his gaze to look me in the eye. 'That's a promise.'

I laughed humorlessly and a little bitter.

'You've broke promises before, Edward.

**Everyone who Reviews will be getting a sneak preview of the next few chapters:D **  
**SO GO CLICK MY LITTLE FRIEND JEFF DOWN THERE!**


	6. Happy?

**WELL WELL WELL, me and Jeff have been extremly happy with how many reviews we have been getting, we just can't wait to write the next four chapters but I guess we can't keep rushing ahead so this chapter is here and on time WOOOO! I love your reviews and I STILL NEED A BETA ! The song for this chapter: Happy by Leona Lewis! THANKYOU SOOOO MUCH GUYS MissBellaCullen18 x x x x x x x x**

**Happy?**

**Bpov**

'I'm leaving.' I called to Brandon who was lounging on my sofa, popcorn on his lap and beer in his hands with Jacob sat next to him and I could still tell he was rolling his eyes.  
'Again?' He moaned. 'I'm sorry Honey.' I came in and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. 'I'm just popping over.' He shook his head and huffed.

I had only till October 1st, not even then to finish what I started here, let alone spend time with my Dad and get the apartment things sorted to go over to New York. I just didn't want to admit I needed more time because I knew if I did have more, I would never leave.  
I've been going over to the Cullen's more often and when Edward and Tanya are there, were civil towards each other and Edward still hadn't acted on his promise to change my mind, I doubted he wanted me to.

'Bella!' Alice cried as I came through the door and hugged me tightly. As did Carlisle and Esme did aswell.  
'Hey guys.' I hummed and smiled at them all. Ten days to go.  
'I'm going to get us some snacks.' Alice skipped into the kitchen, Esme following.

'How's the packing going?' Carlisle asked as I flopped onto the sofa.  
'Hectic, I have to mark things with stickers if I want them, if I don't, if there going to Charlie's or if they go in storage. Not to mention, packing all my other things, we can't take to much with us.' I ran my fingers through my hair a couple times. 'I could only imagine. Have you got work sorted?' I nodded and hummed.  
'Yeah, all my work is done, sorted and prepared even before I knew I got the job, hell they're paying for the apartment.' I laughed, me in a Newy York apartment, I could only imagine that.  
'Though I can't believe I'm actually moving.' It was true over the past few nights I've been with Emmett and my Dad, not to mention the Cullen's I kept asking myself could I leave all this? Did I actually want this? And truth be told. I had no idea.  
'Yeah, little Bella facing the big wide world.' He chuckled and came over to give my hair a ruffle and my shoulders a squeeze.'With everything that's gone on it will be hard.' I winced a bit. 'But as long as your happy.' He smiled at me, so surportive. The stress of the move had built up and I couldn't help but cry as I fell into Carlisles arms.

'SHHH.' he soothed.  
'I - I - Don't know what to do.' I whimpered. He pulled me away a bit so he could see my eyes. 'Do you want this Bella?' I went through a list of metal pro's and cons.  
'Yes.' I whispered.  
'Then go for it.' He urged and gave me a soft smile.  
'But - But - I'm just - just leaving.' I hiccuped. He looked down at me sadly. 'Is this about Alice and Edward?' He sighed. It was ovbious they both disliked the idea of me moving away, Edward more than Alice. They kept saying that yes it would be a lovely oportunity but I knew them well enough to know they hated I would be a four hour flight away and near enough 3000 miles away, we'd hardly ever lived 20 miles away from each other, not even that.  
I just shrugged.  
'I can talk to them?' I shook my head at his idea. 'No. They'll try harder to make me go. They'll pretend more.' I mummbled. 'Leaving all this behind is harder than it seems.' He just nodded as Alice and Esme came back in the room with the snacks and laid them on the table, they even brough blankets but when they got a sight of my tear stained face they both asked what was wrong but I shrugged it off as we all settled to watch a movie even though it was only 1pm.

'Me and Carlisle are going to pop down to the hospital, they have a kids function on. Maybe you should pop down later on.' Esme stood up and pulled on her jacket and me and Alice just nodded until they left and we heard the car go.  
'Bella, what's up?' Alice pounced, I was holding back tears all through the movie and I could tell she had been watching me, concerned.  
'Nothing.' I muttered.  
'Bella, when you say nothing, it always means something, now spill.' She laughed and poked me a little.  
'It's just -' I looked from her eyes back down to the peice of blanket I was picking apart.  
'New York?' She asked and I nodded silently.  
'I know you and Edward don't want me to go.' 'It doesn't mean you shouldn't.' She gave my hand a comforting squeeze. I just nodded again, blinking back the tears.  
'There's more, I can tell.' She probed a little, but enough.  
'I need someone to tell me what to do.' I bit my lip a little. 'I'm confused. Me and Brandon and - ' then a sob escaped my lips and Alice embraced me in her arms, she would make a wonderful mother.  
'You don't want to leave Edward?' She soothed and rubbed my back.  
'Is it wrong?' I whimpered and looked up but she shook her head.  
'Perfectly normal I mean you were so close all your lives then the whole when you were together then now.' I nodded.  
'But I have Brandon and he has Tanya and - and - He shouldn't matter.' I sobbed and they were getting more violent.  
'You can't just switch your feelings off.' She reminded me.  
' I wish I could.' I shook and sobbed until I couldn't feel anymore but I still continued to sob.

'I should go.' I sniffled as I rose up off Alice and wiped my eyes.  
'Bella, you can't drive.' I shook my head.  
'I can't. I've got to go me and Brandon have plans, I told him I wouldn't be long.' I looked outside, holy shit, it got dark fast.  
'Bella, phone me when you get there and we need to meet more.' She grinned and squeezed my hand as she walked out to the car with me. I could tell she meant before I left.  
'Don't worry Alice, I've atleast got 9 days.' I replied with a small smile as I drove off down the drive.

**OKay so I know Short, but it is late and I sorta rushed it because I can't wait for the next few chapters, I know I shouldn't do that but yeah I did so... yeah - Kinda lost where I was going with this! HEHE.**  
**I will update later on today so you will get 2 lots of helping of Bella's angst as the date drifts closer but in the hours from then Jeff needs some company so I advised you go down to Jeff, click him and he will be sooooo happy!**

**BETA NEEDED, STILL!**


	7. Hummingbird Heartbeat

**Hey guys, double chapter tonight wooo!**

**By the way for anyone who doesn't know Jeff is the review button and he was sooooo happy you clicked him!**

**Okay this chapter has Angst, in huge amounts.**

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**Hummingbird Heartbeat**

**Bpov**

Tommorrow. Everything revolved around tommorrow. I was shaking, literally.

9 days had passed way too fast for my liking.

'Bella, you all packed, Jacob taking us to the airport and from then on it's just us.' Brandon smiled into my hair and I cuddled him closer, I wanted to hide.

'Everything that's meant to be in New York is.' I answered him.

'This is perfect.' he kissed my head and I wanted to feel as happy as him, I really did but I couldn't. I had started putting it down to nerves and how I was just

scared.

'Well we've got to be at the Cullen's for seven so get up.' I climbed off his knee and hit him playfully as I walked into the bathroom to get changed from my

comfty sweats and jumper into a little Black jumpsuit but the kind with shorts and not all the leg. I put on a light layer of foundation, water proof mascra and

eyeliner, slipped into my little black ballet shoes, curled the ends of my hair slightly so that instead of big busy messy curls they were neat and bouncy.

I grabbed my leather jacket and walked out clicking the light off.

'Wow. I'm so glad your my girlfriend.' Brandon came up to me, his brown eyes shining with desire, we still hadn't and I couldn't picture it happening any time soon.

'I'm going to pull the car round.' He grinned at me and walked out of the apartment.

As I looked at all the apartment it was near enough empty, we were leaving the sofa, fridge ect.. but it was odd and cold. I didn't like it and I wish I had kept

my own bed here because sleeping on the sofa every night was taking it's toll on me.

I sighed and locked the door behind me, smiling sadly at my apartment.

When we arrived at the Cullen's everyone was already there, including my Dad, Edward and Tanya.

Brandon pulled me into the lounge by the waist. 'This is it Bella, final goodbye.' I told myself breathing in and out and again and again. It didn't help just made

me feel a little light headed.

'Hey guys.' I greeted everyone individually, giving Edward and Tanya a nod of acknowledgment and a small smile.

All the while telling myself now was not the time to cry, not yet anyway.

'So my little baby sister is all grown up.' Emmett ruffled my hair and gave me a big teddy bear hug, 'I was going to miss this.' I sighed to myself.

'Yeah, pretty much.' I smiled and tears came up in my eyes, but I blinked hard to clear them. I was trying hard to look excited and happy but inside I was a

bundle of nerves.

'Aww my baby girl.' my dad sighed and gave me a hug also as I drunk in his scent greedily.

'I'll miss you.' I muttered in his ear and pulled away from him before I let all of my emotions out.

'But no goodbyes yet.' Alice announced and Esme followed behind her with the dinner.

'Your really didn't have to do all this.' I sighed and looked at the table all set out, place names and everything.

'We wanted to.' Esme smiled and gave me a peck on the cheek.

'Thankyou.' I smiled back, she's always been like a mother to after mine died when I was only 3.

I swallowed the sob trying to escape me as I sat opposite Brandon, he reached over and brought my hand in his, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb.

We ate and made casual conversation about anything and everything and I wanted to stay like this now, everyone I loved around me in this one moment,

no worrying, no hurt, just pure bliss and joy - well it would have been but...

'Stop it Bella.' I scolded myself.

'Bella?' Brandon looked concerned.

'Yes?' I answered, I ovbiously had missed something for near enough everyone at the table to be looking at me.

'Erm Carlisle asked if you've got everything in New York you want to have there.' Brandon repeated.

'Hmm yeah, long time but I choose a few things like my bed and such.' Brandon inspected me and mouthed a 'you okay?' I just nodded and smiled a little but he

still looked worriedly at me.

I heard Esme asking Alice to wash up but I interrupted.

'I'll wash up, it's the least I can do for all you've done for me.' She knew that I meant over the years and I started to clear the pots into their massive kitchen.

'I can help you.' Brandon stated and began to clear up also.

'It's okay Brandon, I've got it covered thanks.' He still brought the plates in but went back to his seat and Alice, Rose, Edward, Esme, Carlisle, Charlie and

Brandon all tilted their heads at me slightly giving me worried glances every now and again.

I began washing up and I looked out to the back garden. The swings and the Gazebo then the river lay far behind them, then behind that the forest. I sighed

I remember cutting my knee trying to cross the river after Edward built a bridge.

_'Come on Bella.' A eight year old Edward called, standing proudly at the other end of the bridge he had spent over an hour making._

_'No, I can't I'll fall. I can jump over.' I answered and got ready to jump the little distance to the other side._

_'No! You'll fall. Come on, I did it. I'll help you.' He edged closer so he could hold my hand and gently pul me across._

_I had gotten half way when my footing slipped and I bashed my knee on the way down._

_'I'm so sorry Bella.' Edward kept repeating and for a week after that he brought me cakes and chocolate to make up for my knee even though I kept telling him_

_it was my fault I slipped, not his but he wouldn't take it._

My eyes focused on the gazebo. 

_'Alice, truth or dare?' Edward asked, pointing at Alice._

_'ERRRRM Dare.' She answered confidently and Edward's green eyes lit up._

_'I dare you to eat mud!' he clapped his hands together and I screwed my face up in disgust._

_'Ewwwwww.' Alice cried._

_'A dare's a dare.' a seven year old Emmett laughed and stomped his big feet then started a chant of 'Eat it, Eat it's._

_Alice's hand were shaking as she swiped her finger across the grass and licked it from her finger._

_'EWWWWWWWWW.' She screamed and I giggled as did Emmett and Edward._

_'Haha that's like eating a worm.' I giggled._

_'No, it's not.' She stomped._

_'Yes it is.' Edward Agreed and moved away from Alice a little._

_'Anyway MY turn.' Alice's eyes went to mine and narrowed._

_'BELLA! Truth or dare.' I thought for a moment, no one had chosen truth before._

_'Dare.' I answered, slightly scared for the outcome._

_Her eyes lit up and she was shaking with excitment._

_' I dare you to kiss Edward!' She cried and began to giggle as did Emmett. It wasn't as bad as I thought so I leaned over and pecked his cheek, we did it to each_

_other all the time._

_'No you did it wrong. On the lips.' Alice giggled again and mine and Edward's eyes went wide as we looked at each other, Emmett was laughing so much he was_

_rolling around on the floor._

_'Okay.' I took in a deep breath and Edward pucked his lips up a little, I closed my eyes and cleared the distance and touched my lips with his, drawing back fast._

_From when I was only 6 years old I was hooked._

I laughed at the memories and replayed others over and over again when I heard footsteps come into the kitchen.

'Been in here for a long time.' He stated and walked to stand next to me, but not so close.

I just smiled and began washing another plate.

'Just thinking.' I mused and turned to face him, a geniune smile on my lips not fome fake forced one.

'About?' He urged.

'Memories.' I turned back to the window and he followed my gaze to the tree I fell out of when I was 15 and sprained my ankle.

'Ahh well I told you not to climb it.' He chuckled softly.

'I wanted to prove to you I wasn't scared of heights.' I answered honestly.

'Is that what your trying to do now?' I froze and turned to look at him.

'What?' I was shocked. He could see through me, then everyone could.

'Are you trying to prove to me you can climb the tree again?' I knew he was talking hypothetically and I started to bite my lip and shook my head.

'No I want to climb the tree.' I stated but even I could tell I wasn't so sure what I was doing.

'Are you sure, because it looks like your crapping yourself.' I blushed and looked down as he stepped a little bit closer. 'You don't have to prove anything to me.'

I cleared my throat and hoped to hell that it looked like I was confident when I looked into hie eyes, wow he was a lot closer than I had expected he was.

'It has nothing to do with you.' I saw him back off a little.

'I don't believe that.' he muttered but I heard him.

'Why? Is it so hard to believe maybe I want to go.' I challenged him and stepped forward a bit, drying my hands on a towel, so I was face to face with my hand

on my hip.

'Because, I know you Bella. You want an escape and you believe that this oportunity is it that if you don't take it, there's no other way out but Bella trust me

when I say there is always another way.' His words were true, so true and it shocked me, he could still read me like an open book. I had tried to put up a

guard to protect myself, protect him from what he could see inside of me but it was no use.

'Edward.' I warned.

'No Bella, I know you. You wouldn't want this.' He continued, his green eyes glowing brighter.

'Edward, you knew the old me. Months we've been apart. I've changed.' I atleast hoped what I said was true.**'**

'Ahh, Bella, Bella, Bella.' I liked the sound of my name as it rolled off his lips and the way his lips touched each other as he pronounced it, I loved the way his

lips could make me - 'No Bella.' I shouted mentally and I diverted my eyes away but not before he noticed.

He smirked a bit and looked down at me, raising his eyebrows. Stupid asshole.

'I would believe you but I guess your a big girl now, can make your own decisions and choices...' he trailed off.

'Where is this going -' I started but was cut off when his arm snaked around my waist and pulled my close so I was pressed against his body.

'Edward.' I tried to sound like I wanted him off of me but it came out more like a moan.

He gazed down at my lips and licked his.

I fluttered my eyes closed as I felt his hot breath on my face.

'Bella, tell me when to stop.' he murmered, twisting his fingers in my hair and pulling me even closer. I should have said it right then and there but I couldn't.

I let my arms wrap around his neck and fist in his hair.

'Tell me to stop Bella.' He muttered, bringing his lips to mine. But even though he asked me to I was selfish and I couldn't.

I was pushing my lips against his as he sucked on my bottom one and I took his top one, my hands pulling his head closer, I parted my lips as he slipped his

tounge in and we deepened the kiss. I had to frigging moan. I didn't want to but I couldn't help it when it escaped my mouth.

'Edward we need to stop.' I breathed against my lips as I was licking them and catching my breath, foreheads together.

He nodded and went to pull away but my arms had him locked near me.

'I kept my promise.' He said, looking into my eyes and letting his hands trail down to my hips.

I looked up at him and tilted my head to the side abit in a silent question.

'Is this making you still want to go and climb the tree?' He asked and I leaned back, away from him.

'What? You did all this to - I can't believe you.' I almost growled. He had got me again and I pushed him away from me.

'No Bella, I did it because I wanted to. I just -' He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face, he was frustrated.

'Just say it Edward.' I soothed, I looked at the door we must of been in here for ages but they probably were giving us time to talk about things.

'I don't know how to. I guess I don't want you to leave.' He murmered.

'Edward, I'm leaving tommorow. You can't - You won't change that.' I replied softly and wiped down my clothes and ran my fingers through my curls.

'So that - this is it.' I could see the hurt in his eyes as his word's got more angry.

I nodded.

'Well I've tried Bella. I can't say I haven't.' He said bitterly and stormed out of the door. I stood there shocked a little while then I turned back to the window.

If only things were as simple as when we were younger.

I walked back in the room and noticed Edward's absence and winced.

Brandon's head shot up and looked at me with sympathy. I didn't deserve that for gods sake I kissed Edward, I was still in love with him of course I was but hell

I don't want to be alone and Brandon wanted me, why couldn't I want him back.

'What just happened?' Alice whispered as she came to hug me, I must of looked rough then.

'I don't know.' I whimpered, I tried not to cry so much. It was our last day together and here I was wasting it by crying every chance I get.

'It's Okay to cry.' Alice soothed and the flood gates opened and I clung to Alice for all the life in me, everthing else faded away, everything but one.

'I can't leave it like this.' I sobbed and she hugged me back.

'Don't worry about it, we'll all be at the airport tommorow.' I nodded my head and hoped.

**Sorry I Couldn't post this when I said I would, I've been having uploading problems but here it is and I can't wait to write the next few chapters!**

P.S - I NEED A BETA !

CLICK ON JEFF :D


	8. Not Like The Movies

**Okay so I couldn't update any sooner otherwise I would of!**

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**AHHHHH So most of what I got was Edward's an ass or a jerk and I guess that's how I wanted it! SO IT WORKED WOOO!**

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**Not Like The Movies**

**Bpov**

In less than 12 hours I will be in New York.

I blinked my eyes a couple of times, clearing the little bit of sleep I actually got out of them.

**6:45am**

I groaned and pulled myself up off the sofa then dragged my feet onto the cold tiles of my shower floor, I groaned once I caught my reflection in the window

opposite, red puffy eyes to match my nose aswell as been rimmed with mascra, my hair looked wild in a bun placed on top of my head. I looked a mess plus the fact that I hardly got any sleep last night didn't help.

I lathered up soap as I stepped into the hot steam. I smothered my arms, legs and body, watching as the hot water ran down my arms and dripped onto the floor then swirled around my feet. I reached for the shampoo and massaged my head then felt it come running down as I tilted my head back. I repeated once

more and rinsed, turning off the shower.

Stepping out, I wrapped round the only towel I had left out round my body and one around my head to dry my hair with.

I walked around my apartment, taking in the city view and the emptiness.

I had left things like my sofa and fridge, cooker, things I won't need since the apartment in Seattle is fully furnished all by the beds and little things such as

my coffee maker.

After drying my hair so it was back to the soft curls I got dressed, with clothes all ready laid out since last night, pulling on a grey sweater and my juicy couture

bracelet and I love nerd converse before grabbing my black bag, wallet and phone inside.

I made my way down the steps of the apartment building and looked around the street, 'I'm going to miss this.' the inside voice started again as I walked from

my apartment, through the park and up to the highstreet to Costa coffee shop, it was only little but I loved it.

**8:30am**

I looked at my phone, 'wow time did fly fast this morning.' My innerself thought and I willed it to shut up before I looked crazy talking to myself.

I ordered a hot chocolate with whipped cream, marshmellows and wafer chocolate rolls, heaven in a cup.

As I sat sipping my hot chocolate I remembered the day I moved to Seattle, a month after I turned 18.

_'I'm so excited!' I said, bouncing in the car seat._

_'Calm down.' Edward laughed and tried to keep his eyes on the road._

_'I can't. I mean me, moving out and before Emmett is a bonus!' I laughed and gazed out the window, taking in everything on the drive._

_'Do you like it?' Edward asked as he pulled up to the aparment building._

_'It's the best I could afford.' I sighed and dragged him up the stairs._

_'It's lovely.' Edward sighed as he brought up another box to put on my floor._

_'I know, look at that view.' we leaned on the window frame and looked out across the park across the street._

'Excuse me miss?' I looked up to see a young girl, probably around 17, with blonde hair and blue eyes at my table.

'Yes?' I answered.

'Are you finished?' She asked, pointing to my empty cup.

I nodded and said a thankyou.

I left a rather large tip, gathered my stuff and left.

I rewalked through the park and took my time, strolling the river and through the main gates.

**9:13am**

I checked my watch 'You have to stop doing that.' I mentally slapped myself as I got into the apartment, Brandon was there pacing.

'Oh God, Bella.' He breathed a sigh of relief and turned around to hug me to him tightly.

I gave him a puzzled look.

'I thought you had left or something.' I looked up at him.

'You thought I would leave?' I whispered.

'You, no, I don't know.' He let go of me and let his shoulders drop. 'You just don't seem happy about New York.' I closed my eyes and slipped on a happy mask.

'Of Course I'm happy, I'll just miss everyone.' I shrugged and lowered myself onto the couch.

'Bella why do you guard yourself from me?' There was something unexpected. I looked up at him confused. 'Your never fully open with me.' He sighed.

I swallowed a lump and looked behind him, the window was very interesting today.

'You always have walls up.' He continued. 'Your not straight with me.' I swallowed and sank even further down in my seat.

'I'm not blaming you Bella.' He claimed and sat down next to me, cupping my cheek in his hand and pressing his lips to mine.

'I'm sorry.' I mumbled.

**10:02am**

'Hour and a half.' I mummbled to myself.

'Hour and a half.' Brandon called.

I shuddered slightly. If I could do this, I could do anything.

They could visit.

I could visit them.

We could meet up.

It won't be the same but maybe.

I was making a list of what would stay the same when I moved, the fact was the harder I tried nothing would.

I wouldn't be able to just nip to see anyone.

It would be me and Brandon.

Brandon.

I double checked I had everything that I needed in my suitcase and hand luggage over four times.

'Are your sure your okay?' Brandon mused.

I nodded vigorisly.

'Who said they were comming to the airport?' Brandon asked.

'Everyone.' I laughed.

'God, people will be like WOAH when they see all your family.' He chuckled but I stopped,'Maybe they won't all be there.' my inside voice said.

I shook my head. Everyone will be there. EVERYONE.

**11:19am**

'You about ready to go?' Brandon asked, wheeling our luggage down to the foyer.

I nodded, pulling the sleeves on my sweater and taking in the last look of my apartment.

'I'm going to miss you.' I whispered and closed the door behind me, locking it then slipping the key through the letterbox.

Letting go of that key was one of the hardest things in my life.

**11:49am**

Brandon pulled the car up and grabbed our luggage out of it, locking it behind us.

He had arranged for Jacob to come collect it so when we came back to visit he could use it.

We got into the airport and it was busy, we walked over to the check in and got checked in finally, just in time.

When my suitcase was been carted off I had to hold back a sob. I was really doing this.

'Three hours.' Brandon whined as he checked the flight boards to check our flight times again.

I pulled my carry on bag further onto my shoulder.

'Well the tickets do say we should be here three hours earlier.' I answered back looking through some clothes in one of the airport stores.

'Don't you have enough clothes.' He huffed behind me.

'We have three hours.' I laughed back and continued flipping through the racks upon racks.

Brandon threw me a smile and a little chuckle at Alice's ringtone.

_(oooh) tell me what you think you're lookin at,_

_(noo) so I think I'm Queen Elizabeth,_

_(oooh) and now I'm stuck inside your memory,_

_(so) that's why it's so hard to get rid of me_

_I'm incredible, so unforgettable,_

_so no one can take my place_

_I'm unbreakable, highly flammable,_

_so girl get out my face_

_oh my god I'm going crazy_

_maybe 'cuz I'm so amazing_

_everybody in there dazin'_

_that's the reason why they're hatin',_

_treat us like some superstars_

_and only cuz that's what we are_

_you know we're going really far_

_and ya'll ain't even heard it all_

I rumaged in my bag for my phone.

'Alice.' I sighed as I answered.

'Hey Bella!' She replied.

'Why'd you call?' I asked.

'Cause were on our way!' She cried and I heard people in the background.

'How far away are you?' I groaned.

'Awww Bella, sound happier! Well I am quite far away, I mean I can only just see you grey sweater and shorts, Bella shorts well done.' She went off in a little

conversation of her own as I turned around to see her and Emmett rushing to me.

They scooped me up and span me round, Brandon was right, people did stare but I just laughed because this is one of the last times for ages that I'll see them.

'Were going to miss you.' Alice whispered into my ear as Emmett held me tighter.

'Alice, Emmett. We told you not to run off.' Carlisle and Esme scolded them like toddlers but they pulled a pouting face and said sorry.

Rose and Jasper raced round the corner, sweeping me into yet another hug.

'We love you too.' Rose pouted and I laughed.

'Love you guys aswell.' I sobbed as tears came down my face.

'Don't cry yet.' Alice sighed and soothed me and Brandon grabbed my hand and squeezed it for comfort.

'I know I shouldn't but I'll miss you all lots.' I sobbed harder. 'Nothing will be the same.' the voice returned.

'But we can visit and you can come here.' Esme told me.

'But it won't be the same.' I sobbed and shook.

'I know.' She whispered.

After I had calmed down, everyone had decided to wait for us to board our flight.

'Bella?' Emmett came behind me and took my hand in his to seperate us from the group.

'Bella, your my sister and I love you, I know I don't say it much but I do. I want you to be happy in New York but if your not you come straight back home'.

Got me?' He explained and I just nodded my head.

'I love you too Em.' I pulled him in for a tight hug, pulling him tighter and tighter.

'Bella, your crushing me and I never thought I would say that.' He laughed and hugged me back when I loosened my grip a little.

'I'll miss you.' I sighed and he nodded and ruffled my hair.

He took my hand and lead me back to the group but I caught a look at the clock.

**12:56pm**

'Two Hours.' I muttered to myself.

'What was that?' Alice asked, turning to look at me, sipping her coffee.

'Count down.' I murmered and she nodded.

I had sat down facing her so I could see the entrance over the balcony, just in case he happenend to come bursting through the door any minute.

'Ha.' Laughed the Bella in my head.

I eyed up the entrance and Alice gave me a sad smile, I quickly looked down and carried on with my hot chocolate.

Conversation had started up in a buzz around me as I tried not to stare at the door every two minutes.

Apparently they were comming to visit us, we'd get Em locked up in the zoo and me and Alice would be Shopping while Rose would get a miraculous modelling

contract and Jazz would become a full time muscian.

I laughed in all the right places but I could feel my heart sink deeper down in me.

'Told you.' Little Bella said.

'I should of listened.' I muttered back.

'You really have to stop talking to yourself.' Brandon turned to me, putting an arm around my

chair I shrugged it off.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

I would check my phone every so often, nothing.

'Bella!' I heard a voice behind me.

'Dad!' I jumped up and hugged him to me tightly.

'Hey don't forget me.' Jacob laughed and I turned and hugged him aswell then he fist touched Brandon, I rolled my eyes.

'Guys can hug too you know.' I laughed and they gave each other a look then a 'manly' hug.

'Hey Bella, we got you something.' I groaned as Alice reached to Jacob who passed her a bag which she passed to me. 'Take it out the bag, it's wrapped so

put it in your bag and DO NOT open it UNTIL you get to New York.' She looked to Brandon to make sure he made me do as she told me too. He smiled with a

nod and I took the package out of the bag to put it in my carry on.

'I would say Thankyou but I don't know what it is.' I laughed gently and Charlie looked at me.

'You'll love it.' He smiled at me and then I knew I would.

'Well Thankyou guys.' I smiled and we got into a group hug.

'This, I'm going to miss.' I finally allowed myself to say.

**2:36pm**

'Oh God.' I said outloud, stopping, frozen walking on the way to near the boarding gate.

'What is it Bella?' Alice spun around and looked behind me but I shook my head, still.

'Then what?' She looked at me worried. 'Are you feeling okay? You've gone pale white.' I just nodded and forced the words out.

'9 minutes.' I whispered.

'Oh Bella.' She muttered and wrapped me in a hug.

'Alice.' I turned to look at her with frightened eyes. 'You can do this.'Little Bella demanded 'Oh great now your supportive.' I mentally answered back then

stopped I was mental arguing with my inner self.

'Bella, you don't - ' I shook my head.

'I do Alice, I do. It's not to prove anything to anyone, it's for me. I'm leaving for me.' She looked

confused and I shook my head again.

'Times Ticking Away.' Muttered little Bella.

I pulled Alice into a tight hug.

'Love you.' I told her and pecked her on the cheek.

'Well Bella, My little Baby Girl isn't so little anymore.' Charlie chuckled. 'I trust Brandon, with your life and I've already talked to him.' I rolled my eyes and he

chuckled. 'No, Bella all I said was that if you were happy to put you on a plane right back here.' I nodded and we embraced in a hug.

'I'll miss you.' I murmered and pulled away, pecking his cheek.

'BELLARELLA! I love you and I'm going to miss you, but I will probably come over whenever you need me, give me a call.' I nodded, we had already said our

goodbyes before so it was short. We pulled each other into a tight hug then let go.

'Love you.' I muttered and pecked him on his cheek.

Rose and Jasper both came over to me, arms spread wide.

'Bella, I can't believe it, you in New York. Wow. Big bucks Bella.' Jazz said, pulling me in tight.

' I know me neither.' I whispered and hugged him back.

'You Best come and visit the club once it gets famous, maybe we might be able to get you in V.I.P, that's if you still want to know us once you get to the big

city with the bright lights, bigger and better things.' Rosalie winked at me and we embraced each other.

'Nothing could be better than you guys.' I whimpered and pulled away.

'Love you.' and I gave both a peck on the cheek.

Esme and Carlise approached me.

'This is going to be hard.' I told them and we just hugged, everything was said in that hug, words didn't need to be spoken. I knew we would miss each other,

I knew they wanted me to come and visit, I knew they were proud of me.

'I love you both and I will miss you.' I pulled back and saw tears in Esme's eyes.

'Come back soon.' she whispered and our tears slowly fell as I pulled away and pecked both their cheeks.

'Jacob, Jacob, Jacob. Who will feed you now?' I laughed and he pulled me into a hug.

'Well you took my best friend away.' He joked and turned to Brandon who was also saying goodbye to everyone.

'Hey, he wanted to come.' I poked back.

'I'll miss you Bells.' Jacob said in his husky voice, I pulled him tighter.

'I'll miss you too, love you.' I pulled away and pecked his cheek.

'You okay?' Brandon asked, wrapping an arm around my waist.

I nodded and saw Alice's tears begin to spill over as they announced our flight was boarding.

I flung myself into her arms.

'Call me when you land.' She sobbed and I nodded, clutching on to her and her to me.

'I'm Sorry Bella.' She muttered, I knew what she was sorry for.

'It wasn't your fault.' I sighed and hugged her tight.

'Look you have to go.' Alice reminded me and came away slightly, tears trailing down her cheeks.

'I love you and I'll miss you.' I sobbed and pecked her on the cheek also to be reclaimed in Brandon's arms.

'I love you all.' I called as I came away.

We got to the gate and I turned around to see my family all standing waving me off.

'I'm ready for this.' I breathed.

I half expected him to come flying through the entrance in one of those hollywood movies, spin me around, tell me he loves me and we'd live happily ever after

but he didn't come.

I sighed and took a last glimpse of my family as I handed in my ticket to board the plane.

I guess it's not like the movies.


	9. Many Of Horror

**Hey I'm sorry it's been so long guys I have no excuse apart from a mild case of writers block I just had no idea what direction to take in this story at all but I**

**guess we'll all find out. This is my third copy of this chapter and I really want to move along without a time lapse but if that happens I'm sorry.**

**Click JEFF!**

**Beta still needed.**

**Song: Biffy Clyro - Many Of Horror**

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**For everything on this story go to: (http:/)dontyougobreakmyheartslow(dot)blogspot(dot)com/**

**For Anything else like ideas and such go to: (http:/)baileymasen-missbellacullen18(dot)blogspot(dot)com/**

**READ ON**

**Many Of Horror**

**Epov**

**2nd October**

I awoke to my phone ringing at full blast atleast 6 times.

I rubbed my hands over my face to wake myself up and reached for the phone.

'Hello?' I mummbled sleepily.

'How could you Edward?' Alice started to sob down the phone. 'How could you?' I knew she was referring to yesterday and how I didn't go to the airport.

'I couldn't Alice.' She laughed down the phone, an empty humorless laugh.

'Couldnt? More like wouldn't and now she's gone. I had to watch my bestfriend leave, not only leave and not know when she'll be comming back but leave with

the saddest face, one of pain and dissapoinment that you had caused.' She sobbed harder and I had sat up, my back resting against the headboard as I looked

down at Tanya on the other pillow.

'I wouldn't of changed anything.' I muttered.

'Yeah right, you know she would of stayed had you bothered to turn up.' Alice sniffled and I felt exhausted.

'I'm sorry Alice.'

'Yeah right.' She scoffed. I got up slowly and carefully to not awake Tanya and walked to the lounge.

'Alice if she had loved me as much as you said she does then she wouldn't of left.' I looked around my apartment and opened the curtains, looking down on the

city below.

'Edward, like she could possibly stay, would you and watch her and Brandon be together?' I frowned.

'No.' I whispered. It would kill me having to watch them be happy together, knowing it was my fault, that I could of had that, she could have been mine. It

even hurt to think about that.

'You see Edward.' Alice spat, I could imagine how broken she was because of this.

'Alice I'm sorry, I am but you know I can't bring her back.' Even though I wished so hard that I could, I couldn't. She would'nt listen to me.

'You missed the chance to yesterday.' Alice broke down sobbing again and hung up.

I heard the dull monotone beep on the other side as I did the same, sliding on the floor by my

couch.

'What have I done?' I muttered to myself.

**December 2nd**

'Edward, I know your there but - I'm worried about you, Please call. Please.' I left the pleading of my mother on the answering machine to wrap my arms around

Tanya's waist and rest my head on her shoulder, kissing up her neck as she moaned softly.

'Edward, you should call her back.' Tanya reprimanded but I knew if I let go she'd whine and only come after me.

'Do you want me to?' I whispered huskly in her ear as and pulled her robe round her tighter and shivered from my breathe but I felt her shake her head.

'Edward for fuck sake open the god damn door.' I was startled when Emmetts voice boomed from the other side of the door.

I pulled Tanya with me as I went closer to the door.

'What the fuck do you want Emmett, I'm Busy!' I shouted and chuckled as Tanya whispered 'I love when you swear.' to me and began kissing me and giggling.

'Your a fucking ass! Open the door or so help you I will kick it down.' He growled and I pulled Tanya to me tigher and she moaned as I began unlocking the door.

When I opened the door there stood, well everyone from Mom and Dad, Alice and Jasper and Emmett and Rose.

'Edward, you didn't tell me we had company?' Tanya giggled, unwrapping herself from me but staying in my arms.

'I didn't know we would have.' I stated, looking expectantly at my visitors.

'So why did you come?' I asked and Rose stepped forward as did Alice with fierce looks on their faces but Jasper and Emmet pulled them back, behind them

while my Mom's eyes began to tear up.

'Edward were concerned. We haven't seen you in over a month.' my dad began and studied me with his eyes.

'Well I've been here and work. Busy.' I chuckled and looked at Tanya then back again.

'Your a jerk.' Rose said and looked me right in the eye with a cold stone glare.

I blew it off like nothing.

'I can't help it, I've had other things to do.' I explained.

'More important than seeing your family?' Alice asked and her eyes had also begun to tear up. I looked around the little group, everyone waiting on my answer.

Mom almost crying into Dad's chest. Emmett literally pulling Rosalie back. Jasper holding Alice in his arms his eyes glaring into mine.

I was silent and looked down at the floor, avoiding eye contact with anyone.

'You've changed Edward, you really have.' Jasper said, breaking the silence, his eyes holding in his hurt.

I was still silent but this time I was looking at his eyes but I had to stop after a few seconds and back to the floor my eyes went.

'Jazz is right. What the hell my sister saw in you I will never know.' Emmett spat as I continued to look at the floor. That one hurt. I always knew she was better than me, that she could do better than me and she has now.

'Yeah well your sister isn't here right now, is she? And what the hell I saw in her well I must have been very confused at the time.' I spat right back and the minute it left my mouth, I regretted it. The minute the sounds left my lips I wanted to find Bella and tell her I meant none of that and it was her that was crazy for falling for me.

I saw Emmett's eyes cloud over and get darker as he stepped forward to get in my face, even Tanya cringed backward. I saw Dad try to restrain him by holding his shoulder and Jasper on the other.

'Let me tell you something, shall I? She was the one who was crazy for falling for someone like YOU. YOUR such a prick these days and I'm glad she left you because you were never good enough for her, ever. If you ever say a bad word towards her again, no scratch that if you ever even think about her ever again I will come here, with no one to hold me back and I will make sure you regret it. You Got that, Cullen?' His lips curled up into a sadistic smile as he spoke

calmly which was one of the reasons I was crapping myself inside, I had seen Emmetts rage full out before and I would not want to be on the recieving end of it, not his proper rage anyway. Rose pulled him back and they both dissapeared down the stairwell.

'I can't believe you Edward.' Alice hissed as she too dissapeared with Jasper in toe.

'Well, I'll give you guys some privacy. I'm going to pop into Jessica's.' Tanya said and dissapeared inside to remove her robe to reveal she was dressed underneath and she left to go to Jessica's, a block away.

Then it was Me and my parents, they both had dissapointment in their eyes as they walked through the door of the apartment, closing it behind them.

'That was uncalled for Edward.' Dad started calmly but I knew it wouldn't last.

'I know.' I muttered looking at my Mom, trying to hold the tears back.

'What's happened to you?' She whispered hearing the sob in her voice. 'You never used to be like this, winding Emmett up, saying horrible things, not visiting your family.' She continued and all I could do was sit there.

What had happened to me? Let's see. Well my ex girlfriend/best friend and the most important thing in my life went away on a business trip away, about that time Tanya was introduced to me and well we slept together and we carried on even when my angel came back because I couldn't stop then one day she found out then got my sister to dump me for her because she couldn't face me. She got a boyfriend and I stayed with Tanya, she left me and took the other Edward away with her, thats my story I wanted to say but I couldn't, I didn't. Instead I just shrugged and sat on my single seater.

'Edward, we know your going through a hard time.' I gave out an empty chuckle. 'But we can help you through it, we all can.' My Mom tried to reassure me.

I scoffed again.

'It sounds like your trying to convince yourself more than me.' I spat in anger.

My Dad then took a step forward.

'Now that is enough. Edward I don't know what has gotten into you but you can't talk to people like that.' He scolded but I just sat there, staring at him with

empty eyes. 'We do all want to help, everyone does that's including Emmett but you said some hurtful things out there and frankly your acting like a jerk.'

My father continued, looking at me for input but I stared at the wall behind him with empty eyes cleared his throat and began again. 'The reason we came here was to discuss christmas since you weren't there for thanksgiving we got worried and we came here instead. We are making plans for the whole family to come to our house maybe two days before on the 23rd so we can spend the holiday you be coming Edward?' He asked.

'I don't know.' I shrugged and carried on staring at the wall.

'You can also bring Tanya the house is big enough you could sleep in your room.' I shuddered at the thought me and her had slept in that bed together, it can't be tainted. 'No.' I shook my head.

'Or one of the guest rooms.' he told me.

I just nodded. 'Good so we will be adding you and Tanya for the numbers. Just sort yourself out before you come Edward.' My Father then went to make a coffee for my

mother, leaving us alone.

'You miss her Edward.' Was the first words out my mothers mouth and my head shot up and looked at her. 'I know Edward. I know what you said out there

you regretted as soon as you said, I'm your mother Edward. I know you.' I just shook my head from side to side not been able to say anything else.

'Edward, you don't have to lie to me.' She whispered as she cautiously came closer to me and put her hand on mine.I turned to look her in the eyes and I saw her sympathy and I gave up.

One tear after another ran down my face until my sobs were so hard I had given up trying to breath properly and just settled with the odd irregular breathing.

My Mother sat with me and cradled me in her arms as my father came in and also joined the embrace. I have never been so grateful for my parents and I apologised there and then I had been out of order for everything, Tanya, Bella, not visiting, my overall change.

'It's still so hard.' I sobbed, my breathing made it harder for the words to come out.

'It's okay.' My Parents soothed, rocking me back and forth like they did when I was a toddler.

'It's not.' I muttered. It felt like I was in a tunnel and far from the light but slowly, very slowly getting there. 'I said horrible things to Emmett.' I stuttered.

'He'll forgive you.' My mother answered and I sobbed harder, I didn't deserve it. 'She won't.' I sobbed harder than I had before and it shook my whole body, inside and out. How could she cause all this pain?

My mother looked down at me with sad eyes, red rimmed from her tears. Even my father had signs of tears stained down his cheeks.

'Your strong.' She squeezed me tighter to her and we sobbed altogether.

After I had calmed down a little I had decided what had to be done and told my parents in which they said whatever I did would be the right thing.

That evening, a little after Tanya had come home again I sat myself next to her.

'Tanya, we need to talk.' I muttered and her head shot up to me.

'What about?' She figeted nervously.

'Us.' I answered solemly.

**And that's where the story goes?  
Jeff is going to be very happy! :D **


	10. The Best Days Of Your Life

**Got a lot of people wanting more, so here it is.**

**Again I really hope you do listen to the music and go on the website just to get an insight into how I write the chapters and what it all about.**

**Jeff loves you all, as do I.**

**Best days of your life - Kellie Pickler**

**(http:/)dontyougobreakmyheartslow(dot)blogspot(dot)com/**

**(http:/)baileymasen-missbellacullen18(dot)blogspot(dot)com/**

**So on with the story and lets see where it takes us this time…**

**Best Days Of Your Life**

**Bpov**

**December 1st**

'Hello.' I answered settling down on the sofa with a cup of hot chocolate and a brand new transcript to read.

'Hey, Bella dear, glad I caught you. I was wondering what you and Brandon were doing for Christmas this year?' I coughed a bit, Brandon, how will explain that

we didn't work out and he moved back in with Jake about a month ago.

'Thank you for the invite, when would you like me to come up?' I could almost hear the smile in Esme's voice as she replied.

'23rd is when everyone is coming up, Thank you so much Bella. Just you? Has Brandon got work or something? We'll even pay for the flight.' She rambled and I shook my head and giggled.

'I'll be there and something like that, you don't have to pay for the flight, I'll book it now online.' We said our goodbyes then I sighed as I got up and turned on my laptop to book a flight home, home, I missed it that's for sure.

New York was great, busy at that and the first night I missed home so bad I didn't sleep but after the first few weeks I got used to the hustle and bustle of the big city life so now here I am head book publicist in a high up New York firm that rake in millions every year.

Once I had booked my flight into Seattle at 5am their time I tried to read the transcript I had been given but tried as I must I couldn't process the first paragraph before having to read it all over again. I couldn't find out what was bothering me at first but then when I really thought about it I knew exactly what it was. Edward. Going home at Christmas meant seeing him. I hadn't seen him in over a month and I've changed, a lot so Brandon had said a little over a month ago as he left the apartment for good.

I sort of know I have changed but I couldn't have made it like the shy little girl I came here as, you have to toughen up. That's what I did.

**December 3rd**

I hadn't been sleeping properly the last two nights when I came home from work, I hadn't even started the transcript and I had a meeting with the author on the 10th.

New York has been lit up since the beginning of the month and Madison Square Garden was like nothing I had ever seen before, it was an amazing site plus

on top if that the snow had begun to fall and settle on the ground which made the city even more breathtaking.

My Personal Assistant, Kate, which I insisted not to have but the company told me it was policy and I couldn't possibly handle any more work I have on my own, and I had become the best of friends.

She was 5'4, had dark brown short hair that framed her face, with tints of red in them and sparkling brown eyes all the times that were made to pop out with her black glasses frames she always wore. She was very pretty and we hit it off right away, since then we've become so close that I've told her about my life in Forks and Seattle and she told me about hers from London.

I called her up asking if she wanted to go for a drink with me that night or movie night at my apartment, we decided on a movie and she came over.

'So are you going to Forks for Christmas then?' She asked while waiting for the popcorn to finish.

'I guess, I said I would.' I replied, shoving the DVD into the player and waiting for the image to come up on the screen.

'Do they all know?' I knew what she meant and I shrugged.

'I doubt it but it will be awkward I can tell you that all by my brother, dad and maybe Alice. I do want to go but I'm nervous.' Kate nodded at me.

'I can tell, you've been restless for the past couple of days.' I nodded back at her, what can I say she knows me. 'When's your flight?' She asked.

'"22nd eleven at night I'd have to leave here and I'm flying at 2am and because of all the time difference and crap my head is going to be screwed as I get there at 5am.' I wished I could of gotten a better flight but that was the only one available before Christmas at such late notice.

'Wow talk about jetlagged.' Kate giggled as she pulled the popcorn out of the microwave, burning herself with her impatience to let the bag cool down.

I settled on the couch with a blanket and ice cream waiting for Kate to hurry up.

'Have you talked to Brandon lately?' Kate asked subtly halfway through the movie.

'He text me when he got there and a couple days ago he called to check up on me.' I answered, trying to seem more interested in the movie.

'Isn't that nice?' She hinted again and I turned to face her.

'Kate. Stop it.' I warned and gave her my look but she just shook her head at me, smiling.

'You guys were so cute together and your going to Forks for christmas I'm sure a short drive to Seattle won't do any harm after your last night together I'm sure he'll love you turning up. Christmas Gift.' She gave me a look back and I shook my head this time.

'Never. End of conversation.' I then proceeded to turn back to the movie but I was just thinking of the other person I had a huge urge to go see. The bronze haired, green eyed guy that I should hate, but can't find the willpower to.

**Epov**

**December 2nd**

'Us.' I answered solomley as I lowered myself on the seat opposite. 'Tanya, look this, us, it -' I began but got cut off when Tanya held her head in her hands and started sobbing. 'Tanya, don't cry it's just-' Then I couldn't talk as she rose her head and her red rimmed eyes looked at mine, dark circles underneath. She looked almost wild.

'I need to tell you something aswell.' She muttered and pulled my hands into hers as I looked nervously into her blue eyes. 'Promise you won't get mad.' She asked and it made me even more nervous as she looked down at her hands. 'I found out today.' She rambled and I looked at her with encouraging eyes.

'Edward, I think I might be pregnant.' She sighed and looked at me with worried eyes as my whole world froze.

Pregnant. Tanya. Baby. Me. Mine.

'What?' I stuttered and this time she looked at me confidently.

'I'm two months pregnant.' My world was still frozen in place.

'Two months.' I slurred, shocked. Two months. Two Months. 'Is it...' I trailed off and she nodded.

'Yours, your the only person I've been with.' She nodded and my stomach knotted itself. This shouldn't be happening I'm only 20, I'm going to go to Law school.

I'm not ready. I can't possibly have a child if I can't look after myself. But the worse pain of all was the fact I didn't want Tanya let alone a child with her.

Not with her.

'But we used...' I trailed off again and she nodded and looked at me then I dropped my head.

'I don't know how it happened but it did and Edward.' I looked up to face her. 'We can get through this.' She whispered but I couldn't feel anything, I was meant to be excited.

'I know it's alot to take in, I'm still processing it myself.' she soothed but I sat there motionless.

**December 23rd**

For the most part of the next day Tanya had told me, I sat there not knowing what to do with myself but I started to take them day by day and then it got easier. I didn't excatly know what to do but when Tanya had morning sickness I would go with her and hold her hair back then make her breakfast. We had formed a routine and a little bump of hers was forming, so we had to go shopping to cover it, we didn't want anyone finding out until we told our families,which would be this weekend for christmas.

I was nervous as fuck as we climbed into the seat and couldn't help wishing that Tanya could of been Bella and I wouldn't have felt like this but I couldn't leave her now, not when she was carrying my child.


	11. Scars

**HEY SO I got floods of reveiws ! Thankyou!**

**I can't make everyone happy all the time so I ask stick with the story please but if not I understand.**

**I have started back at school and have had exam after exam plus a busy weekend but here is the next chapter...**

**Every Rose Has It's Thorn - Miley Cyrus,**

**Scars - Miley Cyrus.**

**Someone Like You - Adele.**

**The Portrait - James Horner.**

**Roses's theme - Titanic.**

**So Here it is...**.

**Scars**

**Bpov**

_**December 23rd**_

It was coming up for 5am Seattle time and the plane announced it's landing as the ground bumped underneath, making me feel a little sick as I grabbed the arm rest. I hated landing, for me that was the worst part.

As I huddled in with the rest of the passengers and I shuffled with them to collect my luggage and go through yet another security check, I reached the end and looked around the filling airport, Carlisle had kindly offered to pick me up and after much complaining there he was at 5:45am waiting for me.

I saw his blonde hair first, towering over most of the other people waiting for their loved ones.

'CARLISLE!' I shouted and ran past the people in front of me as I hugged him and he hugged back, trailing my luggage behind me.

'Bella, It's good to see you aswell.' He grinned and took my luggage from me as we walked to his car only to be met with cloudy skies and rain droplets starting to fall.

'Seattle knows I'm here.' I sighed and went to get in the passenger seat as Carlisle chuckled.

'So Bella, how's work?' He asked as we set off on the 3 hours and a half journey.

'Erm Busy, I had a meeting with a client on the 10th and that went really well so she's re-writing it for when I get back, I think it could be a New York best seller to be honest then I've brought some transcripts to read while I'm here for when I get back.' I answered.

'Wow you sound very busy in New York.' He smiled at me and I asked him about his work.

'Well I've taken two weeks off for christmas but before then because of Winter it's been quite busy, broken bones, fractures, stiches needed, concussions, I've never known a town to be so injured in my years of work.' I smiled at him and gave a giggle but then a yawn chased it away.

'You can get some sleep you know, it's a long journey ahead.' I shrugged at Carlisle but still shut my eyes and fell asleep in a matter of minutes.

'Bella?' Esme's voice whispered. 'Bella? Your here, come on love.' She sighed as she unbuckeled my seatbelt and I let my eyes open slowly to see a blurry Esme, in front of me.

'Hey Esme.' I smiled and gave her a soft hug.

'Morning.' She grinned and Carlisle shook his head at her waking me up as he went to collect my luggage from the boot. I was still a bit drowsy and felt so heavy but somehow managed to drag myself through their door and seat my self on their sofa.

'Would you like a drink?' Esme asked. I nodded a yes please and as she flittered throught to the kitchen, I took a look round the room, nothing had changed, everything in the excate same place as before.

Esme came back in with the drink and I said a thank you then placed it on the table as I heard a light banging from upstairs and then footsteps coming down the stairs at a rapid pace.

'BELLA!' Alice shouted as she flung herself at me.

'Alice!' I hugged her tight to me. 'I missed you!' She nodded and I felt her sobbing into my shoulder.

'I'm so happy to see you.' She muttered and hugged me back tighter.

'You too Alice.' I smiled back at her as she sniffled her last.

'It's going to be the best christmas ever!' She beamed at me and then towed me back to get some breakfast down me.

**Epov**

It was coming up for ten o'clock and I was about to pull into my parents driveway when Tanya turned to me with a nervous look on her face.

'How will we tell them?' She whimpered and I just stared at her blankly. I had been dreading this whole ordeal, my stomach knotting the closer we got.

'Erm. I guess we wait for the right time.' I answered, unsure as she nodded at me.

I shut the car door and went to retreave our two cases from the boot of the car.

'Edward? Tanya?' My Mom came to the door.

'Yeah Mom?' I smiled at her and she flew out the house to give me a hug.

'I haven't seen you in ages, but I knew you both would come.' She beamed and hugged Tanya, I stiffened wondering if she felt a bump but she pulled back with

a smile as normal so I guessed she hadn't felt anything.

'Sorry Mom, been busy but I said I would be here and here we are!' I chuckled and tried to force my heart rate down a bit.

'So you two have one of the guest rooms.' Mom begun, helping me bring in the cases and Tanya following behind.

'What happened to your room?' Tanya asked me.

'It's a bit of a big mess right now, didn't think it would be safe.' I answered quickly and pulled my case to a stop in the foyer, next to another suitcase.

'Who else is here?' I wondered aloud.

And as if by cue I started to hear.

'Eat it.' Alice whined. 'Eat.' She moaned again. 'Bella drinking just coffee won't fill you up!' Bella! Bella is here! I mentally screamed, how worse could this get.

'Alice I'm fine, I swear.' I heard her voice float through the door. Beautiful and smooth but sounded full of sleep.

'Fine but don't moan when your hungry.' Alice teased and the door opened to reveal Bella standing in the kitchen doorway, coffee in hand yet before I could say anything to her Tanya smelt her coffee and ran to the downstairs toilet. I followed after her catching Bella's eye on the way.

**Bpov**

I smiled at Alice and started to push the kitchen door open where I saw a tired Edward and Tanya but before I coud register anything Tanya was running out the room somewhere and Edward shot me a look in his eyes and followed after her. To say I was confused would be an understatement.

I turned round and walked back into the kitchen to find Alice still eating her pop tarts as if nothing had happened.

'Alice.' I growled slowly and her head came up from the magazine she was reading with a confused expression. 'Would you please care to explain why I just saw

Edward and Tanya in there.' I asked calmly and slow, the complete opposite of my mind which was buzzing with questions.

'What, here already? And he brought her but he was going to break up with her.' She mused outloud and I just stood there. 'I didn't know he was going to be here now.' She answered and then added. 'Atleast not with her.' I looked confused at her, I could feel my face drain of colour.

'Look Bella, forget him were going to have an amazing christmas together and you'll love your presents and...' She rambled on.

I was confused. I know it was christmas and he deserves to be with his family but I feel like im intruding my ex boyfriends family.

'Alice wait hold up, slow down.' I stopped her and she looked at me with concern.

'Bella, you've gone pale white. Are you sure you don't need to lay down or something?' She asked and I slowly started to sway abit.

'Alice I'm fine I just- I just - maybe I'll stay at my dad's, or Em and Rose's or a motel or something.' I mummbled and she looked me in the eyes.

'No, your staying here like planned.' I shook my head at her.

'I can't Alice and you know full well why. I don't want to make him feel uncomftable in his own home. I'm intruding.' I sighed and took a sip of my coffee.

'Bella, my parents and I invited you to come over. We want you here.' Alice sighed as I just stared out of the kitchen door and shook my head.

'No Bella. Stop this, stop doing this to yourself. Were your family to and we want you to stay here with us. I don't care what you do to Edward, ignore him, punch him in the face everytime you see him. Just stay here.' I hung my head down. 'Please.' She pleaded, tears in her eyes.

'I'll think about it.' I sighed.

**Epov**

I held Tanya's hair back as she was sick in the bowl and smoothed her hair and hand as she rinsed her mouth out.

'Bella's here?' She asked and I nodded at her. 'What are we going to do?' I just shrugged at her question.

'We'll sort it out when the time comes.' I answered and rubbed her back soothingly but she still looked at me concerened but I shrugged it off as we came out into the foyer, meeting my father.

'Hello Edward, Tanya.' He greeted and looked us both other and gave us hugs, sending me a curious gaze over Tanya's shoulder but I just shook my head.

'Hey Dad. How have you been?' I asked making casual conversation.

'Good thanks , and you two?' He asked, directing the question to Tanya as she looked up at me and took my hand.

'Very Well thankyou.' She smiled. 'Carlisle, do you mind if I take a bit of a sleep please the journey tired me out and I'm not feeling too good.' She asked and I quickly checked her over, visually. Everything seemed fine.

'No, of course, it's upstairs on the second floor, the guest room on the left.' Carlisle escorted her upstairs as I took a seat in the lounge sofa.

I wasn't alone for long until Alice came into the room, without saying so much as a hey to me.

'You.' She addressed me, pointing her finger at me. 'I have terms for you staying here while Bella is.' I just gawked at her, I have rules in my own house but she continued. 'If at any point she is uncomftable around you, leave the room, give her space. Don't talk to her, wait for her to talk to you and stay out of her way.

'Clear?' She raised her eyebrow at me.

I frowned at her, confused.

'Why?' I asked.

She just laughed humorlessly at me.

'I want her to stay here. She came because our parents and I wanted her to. She's staying here but she won't if you don't follow my rules. So you got it?' I just nodded as she walked out of the room like nothing just happened.

A few moments later I heard light footsteps approaching the door. I didn't feel like a confrontation with Alice again so I sighed and slouched further into my

seat.

'Alice, I get your rules. Stay out of Bella's way. Got it. Now please leave me alone.' I moaned and heard a sharp intake of breath. I turned to see Bella standing in the doorway, frozen.

'I'm - sorry - sorry. Looking for erm - for - Alice. Sorry to - interuppt.' She stuttered, biting her lip and blushing like mad as I turned to look into her eyes.

'I thought you were Alice, I saw her about 5 minutes ago, try her room.' I answered and took her in.

She had lost weight but in a good way, showing her curves more. Her deep brown curled hair looked more styled than naturally messy, more shiny. She had also

adopted a new style which looked good on her but the one thing I didn't like were her chocolate eyes, once sparkling but now dimly bright from the daylight not from within her then there were the light blackish- purple bags underneath them, resulting making her look like she hadn't slept right for a couple of days.

As I drank her in her eyes darted from one place to another, never stopping for a moment or on any item for too long before taking off and looking at another item in the room, which wasn't that much all by the fireplace with ornaments and photos, a tv, the christmas tree and the wide screen Tv with the cream coloured sofas to complete the room and a glass table in the center.

'Erm - Thanks.' Bella muttered and started to shuffle out. 'Sorry to disturb you.' I watched her backing out the room.

'Bella.' I sighed, trying to break the tension as she appeared slowly back through the door. 'Sorry for been rude.' I apologised and she nodded and backed out the door, closing it softly behind her.

Bella and I had known each other all our lives, best friends until we were 19 on the 20th September when we decided to become more because we'd both liked each other for ages now because of my mistake I couldn't call her mine. It had been 9 months, 1 week and 2 days that she had broken up with me on March 16th. I shouldn't keep count but it reminds me of the pain I had made her feel, she was my best friend and she even went as far as to give me the chance to keep out friendship but even then I ruined that.

Now me and Tanya. I know it wouldn't work for long but I had to atleast be there for her. It was my child, I wanted to be there for him or her, we decided not to find out, but I wished I could talk to someone about it. Em and Jazz have both distanced themselves from me and I don't blame them but even my sister has, I needed my Best friend wheather she wanted to be again was a entirely different question.

**Bpov**

I went up to Alice's room, guessing she would of come up here and sure enough she was sat on her bed, reading her new vogue magazine.

I stood at the door for a few seconds before she looked up when I huffed and put my hand on my hip.

'Alice, why did Edward mention rules and staying away from me?' her eyes widened.

'You weren't meant to know, what did he tell you?' She asked and I shook my head.

'He thought I was you, when I went looking for you saying Alice, I got the rules. Stay away from Bella. Explain?' I demanded.

'Well you said you didn't want to intrude and your not but I thought telling Edward a few ground rules would make you more comftable...' she babbled and

proceeded to tell me the rules and why.

'Alice. Thank you but I mean I still don't know.' I sighed and sat on her bed, closing the door behind me.

'Bella, who are you now! You never let Edward walk all over you before.' She accused me, anger and hurt in her eyes.

'Alice, it's different now. I'll still be over for christmas I just think I should stay somewhere else. I don't want to upset anyone.' I tried to explain but she was

having none of it, raising her voice, louder and louder.

'Alice, YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH!' I yelled back at her, taking her by surprise as she looked up at me, tears forming in my eyes. 'DO YOU?' she

still sat there, looking up at me. 'I CAN'T. I PHYSICALLY CAN'T!' I shouted at her, tears streaming down my face by now. 'KNOWING, JUST KNOWING - ' I

took a deep breathe and tried to calm myself down. 'I DON'T EVEN HAVE ONE OF MY BESTFRIENDS ANYMORE. EVERYTHING'S CHANGED.' My

voice cracked. 'I've tried to readjust, I just can't and you know how sad I am, why Brandon left me and came back, because it's been 9 months, 1 week and 2

days.' I sobbed as she came over and put her arm round me.

'Brandon came back?' she whispered and I nodded into her shoulder.

'Saying - I've changed and - and - I couldn't love him like he did me.' I sniffled and wiped the tears away from my eyes. I had enough of crying about everything.

I got up and made a pledge to myself I wouldn't cry again while here, atleast not unhappy tears.

Esme had made a family lunch for all of us, including Emmett, Rose and Jasper who were schedueled to be here soon.

I had reapplied my makeup and curled my hair again to look decent as I walked into the lounge where everyone was gathered that was here already.

'Sorry I didn't have a chance to say hello before.' Tanya approached me as I sat myself down, I was just a little bit confused but smiled at her anyway.

'It's ok, are you feeling better?' I asked in genuine seriousness and she nodded at me,meanwhile everyone was watching our exchange with awe. Just because she's dating Edward now didn't mean I had to hate her, well it did but I didn't have to show it. Then their eyes got wider when Edward chipped into the conversation, earning a warning glare from Alice.

'How have you been Bella?' he asked and my eyes were darting round the room, away from his eyes.

'Good I guess. Work has been busy so pretty tired latley.' I answered, praising myself that I had got a sentence out without wanting to either kiss him senseless or strangle him.

'How come Brandon didn't come?' Tanya asked, I couldn't blame her, she didn't excatly know but I know Carlisle and Esme wanted to know the same.

'Well we broke up about a month ago. He moved back here with Jake but I wanted to stay on with the job.' I explained and Esme's eyes turned to sympathy.

'It just wasn't working.' I rushed out. I really wanted to tell Edward that it was his fault, all his fault I had trust issues and got paranoid but I didn't because I wasn't going to waste my time pining over him while I'm here and in a few days I'd be back in New York getting on with my life as normal.

'BELLA!' Emmett raced into the room, scooping me up into a bear hug. 'I MISSED YOU!' He laughed as I nuzzled into his neck.

'I missed you to Em! You should visit sometime!' I laughed as he set my feet on the ground.

'I'll hold you too that!' Rose giggled as she came through the door, embracing me warmly, Jasper behind her.

'I missed all of you so much and it's only been a month!' I declared and started to help Esme set the dinner table, not ignoring the fact no one really talked to Edward, just some looks and one sylable words but no full out conversations.

'They've not been talking much for over a month, not even Alice.' Esme whispered in my ear making me jump as I was watching everyone, I turned around slightly shocked she had caught me.

'What do you mean?' I asked her, curious.

'They just haven't talked, we haven't seen much of him either.' She explained as I nodded and took note. Hardly anyone talking to him, I will change that before I go back to New York.

I shook my head and carried on setting the table places.

We all sat in our usual places all by the seat opposite mine been empty, but I didn't mind because it meant I could look right out of the window directly infront of me. On my right was Esme and Carlisle opposite, then me, Tanya next to me and opposite Edward, Alice opposite Jasper then Rose opposite Emmett.

We started on our lunches and after awhile conversation arose about Em and Rose's club they opened and I tried to pay attention but I couldn't I was more focusing on when I would eat and when I would just move things around my plate, little distractions to keep myself occupied.

Before long conversation changed to jobs and I chipped in a few nods or sounds every now and again to show I was listening but really I was trying to not look up and see Edward the seat next to the one infront of me, concerntrating on letting Alice paint my nails while I'm here and having to go to Rose and Em's club. Then Emmett said something to me that I didn't quite catch.

'Sorry what was that Em?' I asked, coming out of my daze and blinking a bit.

'I asked if you were alright? You look out of it.' He said, concern growing in his eyes.

'I guess travelling took it out of me that's all. Don't mind me.' I answered, snapping my head straight back down again to see my half empty plate of food.

'So how are you Tanya? Feeling better?' Carlisle asked and this time I was listening.

'Erm about that.' She started then took Edward's hand across the table. 'Erm well I wasn't feeling well because I'm pregnant.' My head snapped up to look out the window.

Pregnant.

She had just said pregnant.

'What!' I heard Alice screech but after that nothing really came through to me like I was in my own little bubble, trapped but still pushing the food around my plate. I could feel everyone's eyes on me but it didn't hurt like the crashing of my heart did when it shattered then and there. Everything had turned slow motion as Tanya explained about been 2 months along and a doctor's appointment. I could hear my heart pulsing in my head and felt the colour drain from my

face.

I tried to concetrate on my breathing. In, out, in, out. As the rest of my world crashed around me in slow motion. Then there was me in the middle of this carnage, helpless as all my hope burned and died out slowly as my pushing of my food came to a stop on my plate.

I heard a buzz of conversation but I couldn't join in, my throat was dry as a bone, my hand wouldn't move to get the water and I was holding back the floods of tears that threatened to pour out at any moment.

As soon as I could move I stood up slowly croaked a 'congratulations.' picked up my plate and glass to take to the kitchen, normally I would wash them up but I just left them on the side, took a few deep breaths and tried to settle my mind. I looked at the back door to the gazebo and the forest stretching way ahead.I opened the back door letting a light breeze ruffle my hair, it was refreshing as I walked down the back garden to the gazebo, taking a seat in the swinging

two seater I used to love so much.

Here was where I fell in love, Here was where I had my first kiss, Here was where I got engaged, Here held all the best memories, all my secrets and thoughts, Here was safe. Here was home.

I let myself swing back and forth, remembering every detail. It was bound to happen one day but I just wish it didn't have to. I just wished I could of been enough for him. I memorised the sound of the brook and the smell of damp wood surrounding me as I curled up on the two seater, refusing the tears to fall just yet. I saved the beam on my right for last and automatically my eyes went to the E and B in a heart that we carved in a heart on the night of our prom.

Back then it was for friendship but it meant so much.

After looking at it I let my tears fall knowing all chances were gone, I was too late.

**Epov**

I watched her stand up almost mechanically as she whispered a 'congratulations' and cleared her plate and glass and took it into the kitchen.

Everyone's eyes followed her out as I held Tanya's hand and she rubbed circles into the back of it.

Tanya decided to excuse herself soon after claiming she was still not feeling to good but leaving us to our family privacy and she'd be upstairs. Whispering a good luck to me and leaving me by myself.

I slouched in my seat and closed my eyes not wanting to be here at all.

'Edward.' My Mom sighed and she took my hand, moving to sit in the empty seat next to me.

'I'm sorry.' I muttered to everyone. 'She wasn't meant to get...' I trailed off and looked into my mothers eyes, filled with worry.

There was a deadly silence of tension as Alice stood up and faced me.

'Your brother in name only.' She spat at me and I flinched back and squeezed my mothers hand, I deserved it but it didn't make it hurt any less.

'How could - what were you - AHH!' Alice started to shake with anger and if there was any a time I was scared of Alice, this had to be the worst, Jasper put a hand on her shoulder and pulled her down in her seat and looked outside of the window, collecting her breaths

.

I didn't know what to do, everyone was refusing to speak.

'Maybe, I should go talk to her.' I half asked in a mono-tone voice.

Emmett jumped up. 'You will not talk to Bella. NO WAY am I letting YOU anywhere near her EVER AGAIN!' He growled at me and came right into my face and just like Jasper, Rose pulled him back. I heard Alice let out a strangled sob as I looked out the window everyone was now.

Bella had curled herself up on the two seater swing in the gazebo, I could only see half her face but she was expressionless, blankly staring about everywhere before the tears came but even though it hurt me I had to watch, had to see the pain I was causing her as my own tears started to fall, my chest heaving with heavy breaths. My Mom continually squeezing my hand but I didn't deserve it.

Emmett also let his tears shed for his sister and I felt my Mom's tears hit my hand.

We were all just sat there watching Bella, helplessly until her head snapped up to welcome the rain that had started to fall as she made her way inside the house. Emmett's glare and my Mom and Dad both held me down while Alice quietly tiptoed to where I guessed Bella was.

**Bpov**

I walked into the house calmly, basking in the fact it was raining and I was getting soaked from head to toe.

I heard mutterings from the dining room as I made my way through the kitchen, kicking off my shoes and removing my now soaking jacket to drag my feet to the foyer, pulling up my case handle.

'Bella?' Alice appeared in the foyer, her eyes bloodshot red and red rimmed.

'Alice?' I asked as she took me in. 'You've been crying.' I stated and felt guilty I had caused her pain.

'So have you.' She whispered back.

'I'm okay now.' I nodded and took deep breaths in. 'I had time to clear my head.' I smiled at her and she grimaced back.

'What are you doing?' She looked at me with my case handle pulled up.

'Sorry Alice. After that -' I whimpered. She nodded and I knew she understood that I couldn't stay there, not now.

'I could be here for christmas.' I smiled at her and she brought me into a tight hug which I returned.

'And talk to your brother. He's your brother, your family. I want everyone to talk to him. Just because of what's happened that's between him and me, only him and me. You got that?' I giggled sadly and gave her another tight hug, trailing my case behind me.

'Call me.' Alice whispered into my ear.

I had the front door unlocked and put on my travelling shoes which were laying by the front door.

I trailed my case behind me through the rain and opened my boot to put it in, slamming it closed.

'BELLA, BELLA, WAIT, PLEASE!' I heard him shout as I unlocked my car door. I saw Emmett come to the front door and hold him back, I nodded my head at him as a thanks. 'BELLA PLEASE!' I heard him plead and I knew I had to go now. I pulled open the drivers door as I saw him slump against the front door, Emmett still holding him back. It broke my heart, it did but I had to move on and this was my way of doing that.

'BELLA!' His voice was thick full of tears as I stepped into the car and buckled my seatbelt. I took a deep breath. I'm ready.

'Bella, please don't do this.' I jumped at the banging on my car window to see a soaked Edward in the rain with an angry Emmett behind him, trying to pull him back. I tried to ignore the banging as I turned on the engine but once I caught sight of him I stopped myself from pressing my foot on the gas.

I shook my head at him as my tears fell and turned my head to the road as I pressed down on my foot.

'Forgive me.' I cried as he ran behind my car before dropping on his knees in the rain.

'Forgive me.' I cried again.

**Well I never planned to write that much but I got to into it and it got to emotional so I guess I had to write all of this to keep you guys going for a while.**

**HINT IS if you liked it review.**

**I can't help how much I've wrote I get too into the characters :D x**


	12. Stay

**I'm sorry if sometimes my updates are too far between and I'll try get a routine but I have to**

**balance out all my school work especially because I have GCSE's coming up soon aswell as all my extra cirricurlum activites!**

**So Sorry but I will update as fast and frequently as I can for all you lovely people!**

**I Have been so busy latley and ill so I couldn't update as soon as I wanted to as I have to borrow my sister's laptop until I get my own which should be quite**

**soon but for now this is your chapter! I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed or favourited the story or me because you guys make me want to write**

**more and make me smile! I LOVE YOU!**

**Stay - Miley Cyrus.**

**In Over My Head - The Fray.**

**Wish You Were Here - Avril Lavigne.**

**Not Enough - Avril Lavigne.**

**Don't Go, Stay Close - Secondhand Serenade.**

**So Finally see what Bella's going to do...**

**STILL LOOKING FOR A BETA!**

**LETS WRITE (BTW I do not plan things I write and see where my brain takes me!**

**Oh and she borrowed Carlisles car duh forgot to mention it!**

**Stay**

**Epov**

I knelt down in the rain, willing her to turn around and come back to me, give me another chance to explain everything. My tears spilt over as I crouched on

the hard tarmac.

'Edward come back inside.' My mother came out with an umberella as she held her hand out on my shoulder.

'You know I'm not welcome.' I replied in a mono-tonus voice, getting up off the ground to stand.

'Were family Edward, of course your welcome. They were just surprised.' My mother started and I shook my head at her.

'Don't you see they all love her and because I'm the one who drove her away they all hate me. She won't listen to me.' I muttered and we started to walk back to the front door, soaking from the rain I turned to look at the empty driveway.

'I made her run away' was the only thought running through my head.

Wiping away my tears I trudged through the house in a daze, not being able to stand in one place for a long time and trying to avoid everyone when possible but altogether just wallowing by myself wondering what to do from here.

I could leave Tanya but that wouldn't help anything right now and to be honest I did have feelings for her but I knew they were stronger for Bella yet even to me it sounds bad let alone to Bella, no wonder she doesn't listen to me I talk a load of bullshit about nothing. I don't know what love is properley because I always seem to screw it up in one way or another. I feel sorry for my unborn child, what a father I will be.

I turned the corner to the kitchen to find Alice sat there sipping at a hot mug of coffee.

'Oh sh- sorry. Thought everyone ...' I trailed off as she didn't acknowledge me ovbiously not in the mood.

'Edward.' Alice spoke and I picked my head up to look at her. 'I really thought you could stop her you know.' She sighed, her voice flat.

'So did I.' I muttered back, resting on the island, my head in my hands. 'I messed it up yet again.' I sobbed as my tears fell once more.

Alice sat there and looked at me blank in her expression. 'Tanya, huh?' She raised her eyebrow at me.

I just nodded back and rubbed my face with my hands. 'I didn't know - I really didn't until the day you all came over. I was going to break up with her before she told me.' Alice looked at me, really looked at me with sympathy in her eyes and tears glistening, threating to fall over the edge.

'What are you going to do?' She breathed.

'I have no idea.' I admitted, been completley honest with her and myself.

**Bpov**

I pulled over at the Forks boundary line, tears spilling out of my eyes and merging all colours together into one big patch of green and brown smudges.

I had nowhere to go, I couldn't go home. I promised Alice I'd stay for Christmas or atleast go see her which was only 2 days away.

I had thought about going to stay with my dad but somehow it didn't sound to appealing, he'd be working because he always works longer hours at christmas

but only me and Emmett knew it was because he found it hard been without our mother at this time of year.

I thought about a staying at a motel but they'd all be fully booked from here to Seattle leaving me with only two choices,

Going back to Alice's which also meant seeing Edward again or living out of my car for the next two days.

Neither sounded all that appealing to me.

**Epov**

I looked at Alice as she put down her mug of coffee and I just stared at it willing it to give me the answers I needed right now.

An old saying popped into my head. 'Half empty or Half full.' Emmett used to ask me this everyday at middle school, pointing to his milk, telling me if I got it right I could have his cookie but when I said one or the other he would change it and tease me. That's what I felt the mug was doing to me, teasing me, I might of been going insane but it was getting me somewhere.

I knew I had been selfish and foolish to cheat on Bella in the first place but I was excatly that, foolish, I didn't understand the reprocussions of my actions at

the time but I sure do now. But I could be better, do better if I had Bella with me.

It clicked, it all just fell into place staring at the black mug on the island I looked up at Alice.

'I'm about to do something either really stupid or really humiliating, either way I need to do it.' I told Alice, looking into her eyes as I went to collect my jacket.

'What are you on about?' Alice looked worried at me as I grabbed my car keys and started out the front door.

'Alice, trust me.' I smiled a small smile as I climbed into my car.

**Bpov**

I couldn't think straight as I scrubbed the tears out of my eyes and opened the cab door then despite the fact it was raining decided to take a little walk to

clear my head.

The rain always helped me clear my thoughts and wash off any of my worries and doubts. I was jelous of the rain as it poured from the sky then hammered at

the gravel and tarmac, running quickly in a little stream which lead down to a cliff then into the sea below, I was jelous of the rain because it could start over

one day it was the sea and the next rain and then the cycle restarts, but I couldn't restart my life. If I could restart my life I wouldn't not do anything I've

done all by just been friends with Edward and no more, I would of met Brandon and fallen in love with him properley and we would of had a simple marriage

ceremony without me thiking about the what if's because I never knew any different then we could have had kids, our own little children made and brought

up with love.

As I was daydreaming about re-starting my life I felt a presence and then as I turned around I saw a silver car slowly creeping by the side of me, I jumped in

shock and started walking a little faster, not been able to see the driver through the rain. I wasn't that far away from my truck so I could make it back but

as I was about to take off running a voice came from the car.

'Bella!' Edward called, pulling over his car as I carried on walking ahead. He got out and jogged his way over to me.

'Edward, now is not the time.' I told him as he stepped in my way, making me unable to carry on.

'Bella, it is. We need to talk.' He demanded, his eyes squinting, trying to see through the rain.

'Why? Give me one good reason why we have to talk?' I shouted at him, looking up at him.

'Because I don't want you to leave.' he yelled back. Raindrops bouncing off his lips and dripping in his hair.

I just shrugged and shook my head at me. 'It doesn't make a difference.' I answered, stepping round him.

He walked next to me, keeping my pace.

'If you leave me tonight, I'll wake up alone. don't tell me I will make it on my own...' He started to sing and I turned to look at him through the rain with a

raised eyebrow.

'Seriously Edward?' I asked and carried on walking, facing forward.

'Sometimes I stare at you while you are sleeping, I listen to your breathing amazed how somehow I managed to sweep you off your feet girl...' he continued.

By the time we got to Carlisle's car he looked at me, really looked at me as though he could see as deep as my soul and further.

'Edward, what was the point of this.' I muttered at him, breaking our gaze and looking at the car instead.

'To make you see Bella, your the only one for me.' He lifted my chin up to face him and I laughed humorlessly.

'How many times have you used that one Edward! When you first said that to me I believed it but then Tanya happened but you said it again and I still hoped

it was true, but it's enough now. I DON'T BELIEVE IT ANYMORE!' I screamed at him, tears overflowing as I fisted my hands trying to make them stop.

'Bella, it is true, it always has been.' He sighed as he took me in his arms, I struggled to be released but then gave up and sagged into his embrace.

'I don't believe you!' I whimpered quietly into his wet t-shirt.

I felt him pick up my legs and carry me to his car.

I protested and kicked around a bit until he strapped me in.

'I'm not 3 anymore, I can do it myself.' I snapped at him exhausted as he started talking into his phone.

'Where are you taking me?' I asked irritated as he put his phone away and began to drive.

'Home.' He told me and focused on the rain.

'Well then take me to the airport.' I spat back, not in the mood. I had shown him how weak I was which was something I didn't want to do.

'Bella, would you please just stop.' He snapped back at me, that makes two of us not in the mood.

I saw him glaring through the window, trying to see clearly by the time the wipers had wiped the rain away more had taken it's place. His jaw locked in frustration, even aggitated he was beautiful as his hands tightened on the steering wheel, it took all I had not to squeeze his knee in comfort or run my fingers through his hair to calm him down.

Then it all happened in one fast motion as Edward's eyes widened and I was thrown back into my seat as we tumbled over and over, I felt him grab my hand and used himself to keep me in place but as we settled bright lights shone through the smashed windscreen and Edward looked at me panicked and before I knew what was happening he had me in a tight hold as well as he could and a loud screeching of metal crunched and echoed around us as darkness

descended.

**Okay so Hey guys, hoped you liked it!**

**wonder what's going to happen to Bella and Edward Now?**

**Review!**

**But before I go I would like to announce I would like to do a collab with another author, I feel my work is very amerturish and would like to do something**

**like a mature topic (not lemons) but I can't do it on my own. I have some ideas but if you would like to do a collab story with me then please PM me as soon**

**as you can. THANKYOU! xx**


	13. How To Save A Life

**I was evil before I know, stopping it where I did was just plain cruel but MWHAHAHA !**

**I'll reward you this chapter and I hope it satisfys you!**

**Thankyou so much for the reviews I Love them all and love you all aswell!**

**How To Save A Life - The Fray.**

**Never Alone - Barlow Girl.**

**Clair Du Lune - Debussy.**

**River Flows In You - Yiruma.**

**On We Go!**

**How To Save A Life **

**Apov**

All the family was crowded round in a private waiting room Dad got us as we waited for any news on Bella or Edward. The accident we was told was pretty bad and both Bella and Edward and a truck driver had been badly injured but that's all they had told us about them, the rest was about how the accident happened as Edward slipped on the road abit and it would of been fine if the truck hadn't of been coming at them head on and he couldn't swerve without driving himself of the cliff edge.

I had been resting in Jasper's arms since we got here over 3 hours ago, it was deadly silent as none of us wanted to speak, impatient for news.

Charlie and Emmett were staring blankly at the walls or the floor, with Rose stroking Emmett's hair in a soothing way, Mom paced quietly around the room, flitting in and out to see Dad and get any news for us. Tanya has also come with us to the hospital and was curled up on the chairs, no emotion on her face as she faced outwards into the room before her.

'Jasper.' I whispered, tears pouring down my cheeks.

'Mmmm.' He mummbled in acknowlegdment from the top of my head.

'What if - what if they don't -' My voice cracked and my heart ached just at the thought of it.

'They will Alice, don't even think like that.' He told me, shifting me onto another seat to hold my face in his hands and look into my eyes. 'Alice do you really hink they'd just leave us, without even a goodbye?' He asked me, wiping my tears away with his thumb, his own eyes sparkling with tears.

I shook my head at him and slumped into him.

'I feel so useless.' I wept and he just rocked me back and forth in comfort.

'We all do.' I heard him whisper in my ear and kissed my hair.

That was the end of all conversations for a while and the only sounds were the heavy raindrops on the windows and roof above us.

I couldn't imagine what would happen if either one of them couldn't make it and dreaded to think of both because even though I haven't been especially nice to my brother I love him and always will but I should of listened to Bella and talked to him anyway but I can't go back and change things. I have to live with the consequences, whatever happens.

'Okay Everyone, we have some news.' Dad announced as he walked in the waiting room, his eyes puffy and he held on to Mom's hand so tightly his knuckles strained and turned white but she squeezed back just as much. We all shot up and stared at Dad, glad we had some kind of update.

'Erm well -' his voice broke and my heart sank, it had to be bad news. 'Well - Bella has been in surgery and Edward is in a critical condition and well-' He croaked and coughed, clearing his throat. 'They want us to prepare to say our -' He couldn't finish and tears rolled down his and Mom's cheeks aswell as everyone else's.

'They can't - she can't.' Emmett sobbed heavily into Rosalie, gripping her too him and not letting go, Charlie went pale white and showed no emotion what so ever but his eyes glazed over a little. Tanya was rubbing her growing stomache and sobbing into the chair, heartbroken and Jasper was crushing me to him but I didn't know what to do. What could I do.

'YOUR WRONG, HE'LL BE OKAY, YOU'VE GOT IT WRONG.' I screamed at him and Jasper held me back as Mom cringed into him as he shook his head sadly.

'TELL HIM, TELL HIM, HE HAS TO BE WRONG. YOU TOLD ME THEY - YOU TOLD ME!' I pointed to Jasper still screaming at them both through my desperate sobs.

'Alice, this doesn't help.' Jasper told me as I turned to my dad.

'When can we see them?' My dad looked at me tears full in his eyes.

'We can go anytime now I have told you.' He sobbed into Esme as I came out of the waiting room to be met with the painful white walls of the hospital and turned to the room Edward lay in. Taking a deep breathe and taking Jasper's hand tightly in mine I gave a gentle squeeze.

'We don't have to do this now.' He whispered to me.

I shook my head 'We may not have that much longer left.' I whimpered as I pushed open the door.

**Bpov **

Unlike the movies my life never flashed before my eyes but that must mean I'm not actually dead then or maybe it just doesn't really happen at all.

When the darkness had taken over my body, I couldn't feel, hear or even smell but the last few things I picked up was a smokey smell that made me want to gag and choke aswell as the rusty, salty-ness of blood while I felt a heavy weight forced on me as I was pinned in my seat.

I really hoped it was just a nightmare at first, trying to wake myself up but I couldn't and I was completley and utterly alone.

I hurt all over and a dull pain was at the back of my head yet I could do nothing about it under my black blanket, I felt trapped and claustraphobic as I began to hear several low beeps getting louder and louder until I could fully hear a machine wurring aswell right beside me.

I wanted to shout to everyone I could hear but I couldn't my brain wasn't telling my mouth to open and it hurt to even breathe properley so I started to panic and the loud beeping got higher and higher in pitch until it was all I could hear all by several people's footsteps coming throught what sounded like a door.

'What's happening.' I heard a male's voice ask.

'She's woken up.' Replied another male but his voice was slightly higher so I pictured him young.

'Hello, Bella. It's Carlisle.' I heard a male's voice beside my head and a hand on my own, soothing me so my heart rate slowed to a normal pace.

'I hope you can hear me. You've come out of surgery so you may hurt a little.' He told me and I wanted to say 'A little, really because my head is pounding.' but my mouth wouldn't open yet again.

'Bella.' He continued, his voice cracked with emotion. 'I want you to try and open your eyes, or try squeeze my hand.' He choked and placed his hand in mine.

I tried to pull open my eyelids but they were so heavy but I kept trying and trying, it getting easier everytime until I could barley flicker them and I could see the light filter in slowly growing more and more until I looked up to see a fuzzy ceiling waiting for my eyes to adjust.

'Bella?' Carlisle asked, leaning over to look into my eyes.

I tried to speak but my throat was still so sore.

'Don't try speak if it hurts.' He sighed and gave me a small, sad smile.

'My - head.' I croaked, my voice thick and cracking as I tried to move my stiff muscles to point to my head, only lifting my arm up a little before giving up.

'It's okay, I'll get a nurse to give you something for it but first can you remember what happened Bella?' He asked, squeezing my hand reassuringly.

I tried to remember but my head hurt and it was clouding my memories but I do remember been forced into my seat, I was in a car and there were bright lights coming towards us.

'A truck - it - crash.' Was the only thing I could get out as Carlisle nodded at me to continue.

I was in a car, a silver car and I remember been annoyed and someone snapping at me, 'Bella, would you please shut up!' I tried my best to get passed the clouds when my eyes widened in realisation and I tried to sit up but I was exhausted and Carlisle pushed me back down, gently telling me I would pull the wires out if I moved to suddenly but I tried again and once more he stopped me.

'Edward?' I croaked and looked up at him, panicked.

He diverted his eyes away from me to look around the room, tears welling up in his eyes and my breathe caught in my throat before saying,

'He's fine.' But I could see the lie behind his words.

A high pitched beeping sounded and sped up, telling me my heart was going way too fast as two nurses ran into the room and tried to calm me down but it wasn't working as I thrased around, the only thing I wanted to do was find Edward. The beeping continued and Carlisle went over to a cabinet on the otherside of the room and began fiddiling with something as the Nurse's tried in vain to calm me down and stop my heart rate from going crazy. I was concentrating on wriggling free with the last energy I had left that I didn't feel the needle go in and the sedative rush through my blood stream.

It was only a matter of seconds before I was once again succumbed to the darkness.

**DUN DUN DUHHHH !**

**Short I know but will promise to update in the next two days!**


	14. Giving You Up

** Okay, please, please forgive me because it's been MONTHS since I have updated this story. I have had a laptop and too much spare time, so that's not to blame, but what is, is my crappy laptop been stupid and not letting me update for months on end. WELL HAHAH LAPTOP I'VE FOUND A WAY! MAHAHAHAHAHA (crazy bit over with). I have also been suffering with writer's block with this story and after this chapter I have no idea where to take it!  
I've brought out a new story (a big mistake I know but it can't be helped) called Then I did.**

If you want to contact me from anywhere;  
Youtube; BaileyMasen  
Twitter; BaileyMasen  
Tumblr; BaileyMasen

I know the timeline is a little confusing so to remind you;  
Bella and Edward broke up on March 16th.  
It is now January 23rd.  
This is exactly 10 months and 1 week later.  
Bella and Brandon are over.  
Edward and Tanya have been together for 6 months, 3 weeks and 2 days.  
They started dating June 30th. 

**On with the story!**

Chapter Songs:  
Giving You Up – Miley Cyrus

Giving you up

**BPOV**

'Alice, I'm fine.' I groaned, as she pushed two painkillers into my hand and placed a glass of orange juice on the side.  
'Bella, dad told me to give you these if you're in pain, and before you say anything I know you are. So don't try to lie to me.' She gave me a stern look so I took the pills and gulped some orange juice to wash them down before opening my mouth to let her see that yes, I did in fact swallow them.

I was released from the hospital just over 2 weeks ago and ever since Alice was adamant that she was going to take care of me, making me move in with her and Jasper until my leave off work was over. At first I refused everything she had brought to me but after a while I let her play nurse, she was just trying to help me, that and I heard her crying to Jasper many a nights when I had put myself to bed early.

Christmas last year, didn't happen and neither did New Years. Everyone was in the hospital with me and Edward. I felt guilty I had made them miss the holiday but they reassured me it was fine, one year wouldn't hurt anyone and they were just glad we both made it through.

Edward was so much worse off than me and didn't wake up until I had left the hospital. He's badly bruised all over his body, 2 broken ribs, a small head injury, a sprained ankle and wrist and his right leg is broken. They didn't know if he had any spinal cord injuries but thankfully he didn't but still had to be kept in hospital longer, just in case.

I haven't spoken to him since the accident, I couldn't. He was going to be a dad for god's sake. He had Tanya. It wasn't just this but the scene I witnessed when I was going to talk to him.

_~ ~ Flashback ~ ~_

_The doctors had told me I could be released today and I wanted to go tell Edward, even if he wasn't awake I went to see him atleast 1 every two days.  
I grabbed my crutches and pulled myself up onto them, I still hurt - everywhere. _

_I hobbled myself to the room across from mine but stopped just behind the doorway to a sight that brought tears to my eyes; Tanya was sat in the chair, holding onto Edward's hand placed on her swelling stomach, her blonde hair was piled in a messy bun on the top of her head and her eyes were rimmed in a sore redness as tears poured down her cheeks. I hadn't thought she was that sad until I saw it myself. She was speaking softly to him and kept running her fingers through his hair. I couldn't rush in there. Tear them apart. _

_I had quietly gone back to my room and sobbed into my pillow until Alice came in._

_'Bella? What's wrong?' I shook my head and blamed it on the pain I was suffering - which wasn't an excate lie._

_'It's ok. You'll be in a nice warm bed in no time at all and out of this place.' She helped me into the hall and asked if I wanted to see Edward before I left then helped me into the cab with a confused look on her face when I had said I can't, that I won't._

_~ ~ Flashback ~ ~_

I haven't seen Edward since.  
I couldn't.  
**EPOV**

I haven't seen Bella since I woke up and I wondered where she was.

Everyone had avoided the topic of her and when it did get on to her just said I needed rest and that was the end of it.

Tanya was around here everyday and I appeciated it, she helped me do things I couldn't do by myself at the moment and we got closer as the time progressed. We talked alot about everything, even things we hadn't before. The baby, our lives in general, favourite things - we got to know alot about the other and she was a genuine nice person but every time I thought that I felt a pang of guilt for Bella.

I still love her - I think.

I don't know what love is so how can I say I feel it with either one of them. Tanya is carrying my baby, I mean yes it was an accident at first but normally you have a child with someone you love so it must mean something right?

But Bella I mean it's sort of meant to be, best friends forever cliche just means that we were meant to fall in love with each other, have kids and when they grow up and ask about the first girl I loved I wouldn't have to pull out the photo album I would just look up to the seat next to us.

Everytime I was around Bella we both got hurt either by each other or the whole car crash. I hoped she was alright and that she would forgive me for what I plan to do in the next week.

**Hope You Liked it  
:D **


	15. Feels Like Rain

**Okay, first things first THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed my last chapter, put me on either their favourite story/author list or on story/author alert, I LOVE YOU as much as I love Christmas smelling candles and Glitter!  
I'm so happy with this story I know some people don't like Edward right now, but I'm trying to keep this story as realistic as possible and in real life straight forward happy endings only happen in fairy-tales, real life is tough for love.  
I can't keep everyone happy all the time, even though I try  
I hope everyone had a good Christmas time and a great New Year!  
ROLL ON 2012!  
Thank you so much!  
Twitter; BaileyMasen  
Youtube; BaileyMasen  
Tumblr; BaileyMasen**

**Goodbye – Kesha  
Feels Like Rain – Kesha  
The Harold Song - Kesha**

**Feels Like Rain**

BPOV

January 24th – January 27th

The days bled together in one big blur of colour and essential tasks that had to be done until I could finally go back into my dreamless sleep for a couple of hours, which I was violently shook from, remembering the crash. Alice and Jasper had both suggested going to see a therapist but I shunned the idea away, I had just watched her brother almost die in front of my eyes – Of course I was going to be a little shaken up.

Today was when my little routine got scrambled around when Alice announced we were needed at the hospital. __

~~Flashback ~~

_'Bella, honey? Are you feeling okay?' She placed herself timidly on the edge of the bed as I curled my legs up, away from her.  
'I'm fine Alice, thank you.' I lifted my head a little and smiled weakly in her direction, not fully meeting her eyes.  
'Yeah, you look wonderful.' With this she rolled her bright blue eyes at me. 'Bella, if you're in pain, just say.' I shook my head at her, I had already taken my daily dosage and still felt like shit.  
Alice opened and closed her mouth a couple times, as if to start a sentence, re-think it then try it again. After a couple minutes she gathered her thoughts and took a deep breath in.  
'Bella, I miss you. I miss the Bella I used to know, the funny, sarcastic, beautiful inside and out girl that I knew. I am so scared of losing you. I haven't ever seen you like this before. You're there in body, but your not. Bella I've seen you countless times just wander off in that pretty little mind of yours and that scares me to death.' I shifted round a little, for the first time in three weeks I looked her in the eyes. They were brimming with tears and red rimmed. I didn't understand how I didn't notice that the spark she had, had been long since gone.  
She blinked back the tears, tilting her head to the side and smoothed my hair down on my head like a mother would a child._

I was speechless.

'Maybe we should take a trip to the hospital, everyone is there already and I know they all want to see you.' She broke my gaze and started to clean up the room a little, glass by glass.  
'Has your brother woken up yet?' I asked her.  
I got a nod back.  
'Yeah, he called some kind of family meeting.'  
Family meeting? I ran through a list of why, but came up fruitless.  
'You should probably go then.' I answered back, I wasn't family.  
'Bella, your still family.' She sighed softly, 'You'll always be my sister.'

~~Flashback~~  
  
'Do you need any help with that?' Alice asked as she placed my crutches in the back seat of the car, noticing my struggle with the seatbelt while wearing my brace.  
'No, I can do it thanks.' I grumbled. Stupid. Fucking. Brace.

We pulled up at the hospital 25 minutes later. Alice helped me onto my feet, well foot before deciding a wheelchair would be more ideal.  
I almost died been pushed around the hospital corridors in the state I was in, I hadn't been in here for almost 3 weeks so everything smelled so sterile and the lights were too harsh on my eyes.  
I got wheeled round corners, into an elevator and to the ward with private rooms.

'Ready for this?' Alice stopped my wheelchair outside room 13.  
I took a couple of deep breaths before slowly nodding , yet inside I was far from calm. I wanted to run away, far away, back to New York, far away.

The room had dramatically changed since the last time I had seen it, no wires everywhere, loud machinery and needles just a drip and a heart monitor. I even noticed the floor had been polished, curtains had been changed, even the windows had been given a clean. 

There was silence in the room.  
Waiting.  
I didn't look up, letting my hair fall to make a natural curtain between me and the world.  
Waiting.  
Silence.

'Anyway dear, now were all here, what was your news?' Esme broke the tension in the room, without even looking at her I knew she had a fake warm smile on her face.  
'Okay, well I wanted to do this in front of everyone.' His voice was still croaky, like he needed a drink but otherwise he sounded well. He grunted and winced a little in pain as he adjusted himself.  
'Tanya?' I peeked out of my curtain to see the over 4 months pregnant blonde woman's very pink shoes shuffle close to the bed to, what I assume was to hold his hand.  
'Honey? What is it?' Her voice was softer then I remembered it to be, maybe that's what pregnancy did to you. Ha Guess I'll never know now.

'I need to…' He started again then winced a bit as he shuffled. 'I need to do this.' He winced again and I heard Esme rush over to her son's bed to help him become comfortable. 'What I'm trying to say is…. Wait a minute.' He paused and winced more as he reached for something out of his bed side table. 'My grandmother told me to give this to the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with, the woman I want to live with and have children with and well… I think I've found her.' He cleared his throat and my heart rate sped through the roof, pounding and pounding. I couldn't hear anything over the loud pounding that threatened to explode my head.  
'Tanya? Will you do me the honour of….' The pounding in my head got so loud I wasn't there anymore. Well they were having a baby together, it's expected.

I heard a loud squeal of delight as I looked up and my eyes caught on the ring she wore on her left hand. My ring. I felt sick and dizzy as I looked from the diamonds to catch the eye of the devil himself.

I knew my face was as white as a sheet as his emerald orbs searched my muddy brown puddles,

I lost. 


	16. Just a note

**Wow, so the other day I received several emails about people who are still reading this story! After what? 2/3 years?! :D commitment guys! BUT I have decided, because of those people to start writing again  
I've been through a lot this past couple years and so my writing style has matured and I would love to re-edit this story and see how that goes!  
Thank you for sticking with me for so long!  
Keep your eyes peeled for a brand new and edited version of Baby Don't You Go Break My Heart Slow and also a Beta would be very much appreciated! **

**Love you guys so much!  
BaileyMasen  
xxx **


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